Thursday, February 25, 2010

There’s No Crying in Winter Olympics!* (UPDATED)

By “Pintface” Pete Bogs/BogsBlog

The 2010 Winter Olympics are becoming the 2010 Whiner Olympics. We can all sympathize when a bittersweet victory close to the loss of a loved one elicits tears from any athlete. When an Olympian whose routine is a little off, or who gets a lesser medal than expected or no medal at all starts blubbering, however, that’s a different matter entirely.

When you’ve worked for years at your sport and then fail to perform to your highest standards it can be devastating. But ladies, and to be frank, that’s precisely who I’m addressing here, if you are a professional athlete – one of sufficient caliber to compete in the Olympics – you’ve got to be made of tougher stuff. You’re only reinforcing stereotypes by crying like grade-school girls.

It’s time to wo-man up.

UPDATE: Now this is the kind of Olympic behavior I like to see! The gold-garnering Canadian women’s hockey team drinking (some players just one year underage) and – well smoking cigars is nasty – but the point is they are celebrating in a manner they deserve. (Though it wish it were the U.S. team celebrating.) More power to ‘em! The IOC? Screw ‘em!

*With acknowledgment to Tom Hanks.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Pope Declares Full-Body Scanners Sinful; World Takes It as a Sign They Are “Fun”

By "Pintface" Pete Bogs/BogsBlog

Pope Benedict XVI has joined other religious leaders in condemning the use of full-body scanners for airline security. Ooh, more forbidden fruit ... goody! As a prolapsed Catholic, I might even consider giving up full-body scanners on Fridays during Lent, but after that all bets are off.

Said the principal papist on balancing security needs with human dignity: “the primary asset to be safeguarded and treasured is the person, in his or her integrity.” Apparently this pope is quite a people person, and one who thinks scanners will compromise our character.

Speaking of sodomy, three cops have been acquitted in a case where one of them is alleged to have inserted a baton into a handcuffed suspect’s ass, with the other two covering it up (the incident, not the ass). The verdict came after another cop risked his own ass to act as a witness against them. It seems justice may have taken it up the ass here.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

A 2012 Palin Presidential Run Would Be Palinly Ridiculous

By "Pintface" Pete Bogs/BogsBlog

According to the Mayan calendar, 2012 may mark the beginning of the end of the world. Perhaps they were prognosticating the disaster that would be a
Sarah Palin 2012 presidential run? I am going on record early here as saying, even after putting all her retarded personal views aside, shouldn’t Americans be asking themselves: Would anyone in their right mind vote for born-again Teabagger Palin in a non-ironic or non-contrarian way for any reason other than her celebrity?

Palin is unquestionably very popular in some circles, and that apparently qualifies her for important office. She might secure a (third party?) nomination, but it would based not on her qualifications but on superficial merits; it’d be like her beauty pageant days all over again. Or like a high school student council election.

Palin is popular in a day when fame is cheap and easy, and the bar for celebrity is set very low. As we’ve see with the reality TV phenomenon, Americans are fascinated when nobodies (or spoiled brat ne’er-do-wells with surnames like Hilton and Kardashian) say/do outrageous things. Everybody can be somebody, if they know how to generate publicity. Is this a wise criteria for picking the leader of the free world? The U.S.A. will be an even bigger joke than we were under George W. Bush, and I’m tired of being laughed at (sic).

It’s not like Palin has demonstrated dedication to public service. Witness how quickly she fled the Alaska governor’s office when someone waved self-promoting book and speaking engagement dollars in her face. She’s a quitter, a nutter, and an all-around poor excuse for a public servant. I hope Palin and her supporters are simply pulling our leg and will spare all involved the embarrassment of seeing her run for public office ever again.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Muslim Scholars Condemn Full-Body Scanners to Death; World Unmoved

By Pete Bogs/BogsBlog

Muslim-American scholars have issued a fatwa (religious edict) against the use of full-body scanners as a security measure at airports, as the revealing images the machines create violate Islamic tenets of modesty. Who didn’t see this coming?

Let’s be honest: The militant variety of Muslim are the very people these scanners are designed to detect. Would the technology even exist if there had been no 9/11s, Lockerbie Bombings or Christmas Day Underwear Bombers – all incidents which have Islamic ties?

I’m not modest and don’t have an issue with going through the scanners (I have a mild concern they might be detrimental to our health), but I understand some people do. And there is evidence the machines can store and/or print the semi-naked images they generate, despite FAA and technology manufacturers’ assurances to the contrary.

There’s no chance of a screener having, say, a cell phone that can snap photos of the scanner screen, is there? It’s actually very likely, unless phones are prohibited in the screening area. Is that part of the plan?

Whatever the case, I believe the scanners may be a sad but necessary reality of our times. And I’m suspicious of groups that want to avoid them – especially when they are, umm, such "high risk" ones. Pat-downs, which many Muslims prefer to body scans, would not have stopped the Christmas Day Underwear Bomber, who had explosive materials in his crotch. Can grope-downs be far off? When that day comes, we will know whom to thank.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Iran’s Ahmadinejad Declares Avatar “the Shit,” Predicts Big Wins on Oscar Night, Hangs Dissidents Who Claim Precious Is the Superior Film

By Pete Bogs/Bogsblog

James Cameron’s blockbuster film Avatar apparently has a raving fan in Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. The Persian prez has expressed particular admiration for the battle machine suit (Amplified Mobility Platform [AMP]), which he called “mind-fucking-blowing,” adding that the technology was “his idea first.”

"You know (Avatar is) totally going to kick District 9's ass at the Oscars," he was also purported to have said. "And The Blind Side? Made-for-TV melodrama with a bleach-blonde Sandra Bullock? Don't make me laugh! Seriously, don't make me laugh, or you will be jailed."

Ahmadinejad has reportedly
agreed to halt Iran’s nuclear enrichment program, provided he be allowed to accompany Cameron to the Oscars in March. As of this writing, there has been no response from either the United Nations or Cameron.

Iranian cabinet ministers were surprised by their president’s praise of Avatar, as during a recent Tehran screening Ahmadinejad allegedly paid little attention to the film, instead annoying other patrons by talking loudly on his cell phone.

Above: Ahmadinejad queues up for yet another screening of Avatar in 3-D.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Don’t Work

By Pete Bogs/BogsBlog

“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT), the Pentagon’s policy of allowing gays to serve in the U.S. military provided they stay in the closet, is facing repeal after 17 years. I must credit President Obama for following through on a campaign promise (while I remain a vocal critic of his faltering health care reform efforts and his insistence on letting George W. Bush’s criminal cronies walk free).

I have to admit, I supported President Bill Clinton on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell back in 1993; I viewed it as the “lesser of two evils” (allowing closeted gays to serve versus putting an outright ban on their service) and about the best we could hope for at the time. Lingering opposition tells me it probably was.

From the rigid resistance to open service exhibited by some, one might easily get the impression the U.S. military is an inherently homophobic institution. I’d prefer to believe those who express concern in vague statements about “unit cohesion” (hehehe, you said “unit”) don’t speak for our military as a whole. And it’s looking like that’s the case.

We’ve heard alarmist anecdotes about servicepersons being “sized up” in the shower by gay comrades. To me, this simply makes the case for privacy while bathing. One room with a dozen or so nozzles (oh, grow up!) on the tiled walls isn’t preferable to most as might be, say, individual shower stalls. Naked (wo)men showering together, lathering up in front of each other – as might occur every day in military barracks across America – that, ironically, seems a bit gay.

By keeping DADT in place, we not only deny respect to many decent, patriotic people, we limit our defense resources. In time of war with two Middle Eastern countries, we’ve actually booted personnel, including translators who help us understand what the hell terrorists are saying, for being openly gay. Is this a sound defense policy?

To those who continue to support DADT, I put this question: Do you hate/fear gays more than you love your country?