By "Pintface" Pete Bogs/BogsBlog
ID theft is rampant, and so are articles dispensing advice on how to keep it from happening to you. While these are admirable and mostly helpful, there are some obvious tactics they consistently ignore:
Add some dirty diapers, broken glass, rancid dairy products, hepatitis C-tainted syringes and/or anything else generally considered repulsive to every bag of garbage – preferably right on top before you tie it up. (At the very least, you’ll make stealing your identity a memorable experience for the thief.)
Buy a document shredder at an office supply store. Then turn it on and shove a would-be identity thief’s fingers into it while it’s running.
When using an ATM, gas pump, debit card machine, etc., keep a loaded gun in your palm and use it to threaten anyone you suspect of trying to get a glimpse of your card number and/or PIN. It’s your Second Amendment right (USA readers only).
Avoid using banks. Your money is safest in an old shoebox – made of fireproof cardboard – underneath your bed, where identity thieves (and the gubmint) can’t get at it.
Use cash for everything – including buying overpriced drinks on “cashless” JetBlue and Delta airlines. I find that goading flight attendants can be very fruitful, and will only occasionally get you arrested at the arrival gate.
I hope these tips help protect you from becoming a victim of identity theft!