By “Pintface” Pete Bogs/BogsBlog
I recently had my first experience with full-body scanners, the new airport security machines that enable TSA personnel to view any dangerous items you might be trying to sneak aboard an aircraft beneath your clothes – as well as mastectomy scars, false limbs, breast implants, nipple/clit/penis piercings, the size of your junk, etc.
The full-body scanner process is simple and painless, but takes slightly longer than a metal detector, because you have to stand inside the scanner, and the results are not instant (unlike the metal detector’s beep). After being scanned, you have to wait a moment before putting your shoes back on and collecting your personal effects off the floor because they were inevitably scattered by a high-velocity collision with other trays at end of the conveyor belt.
There’s a pat-down option for those who object to going through the scanners – arguably a more intrusive security method, performed by a person of the same gender as the traveler (clearly a policy lobbied for by the radical homosexual agenda) – but I didn’t notice anyone get out of the scanner line.
I don’t have an issue with the scanners; in fact, I think it might be a hoot to be scanned while sporting a serious erection (which poses little security risk to any aircraft, apart from a dirigible). Besides, these scanners allow for greater equality – by making everyone look bald. Welcome to my world, bitches!