By Pete Bogs/BogsBlog
Osama bin Laden has found a new reason to hate America: global warming. In his most recent rambling audio tape, the top terrorist and favorite son of Saudi Arabia takes us to task for climate change.
Coming from him – indeed, anything spewing from that gaping maw of ignorance and hate is suspect – ecological complaints just don’t hold polluted water. America does need to get serious about curbing our carbon emissions, but China’s efforts at destroying the earth make us look like Henry David Thoreau by contrast. Osama neglected to mention them.
To punish America for its shameful stewardship, bin Laden is calling for international divestment from the U.S. dollar. It’s like 1980s South Africa all over again. Who would’ve figured Osama for such an ardent activist? At least al-Qaida is easier to spell than apartheid.
If serious, bin Laden has miscalculated: By aligning himself with an environmental cause, he’s just handed nature-hating, big business-beholden forces in the U.S. a powerful weapon in their anti-environment efforts. “If Osama thinks it’s a good idea, it must be bad one.” And, by extension, “Environmentalists are terrorists.” To the unsophisticated mind, those are convincing arguments. I’ll be surprised if the Rush Limbaughs and Glenn Becks of the world aren’t already all over this.
Some have suggested bin Laden is simply jumping on the bandwagon of a popular topic. If so, why not just tweet on his favorite Jersey Shore episode or bitch about the disappointing Google Nexus One like everyone else?
Perhaps he should just stick with what he knows best – shitting in Pakistani caves and picking sand fleas out of his beard.