Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Stop The Killing (Mostly) UPDATED

Americans are dropping to gun violence so fast it’s making my head spin and stomach turn. The bloodletting has reached epidemic proportions of late, with mass killings in homes, nursing homes, immigrant centers and even church retreats all over this gun-loving nation of ourn. I feel like it’s 2006 again, but instead of getting arrested for DUI, everyone’s going on their own killing sprees.

One of the
shootings involved a guy armed with an AK-47 (assault weapon) lying in wait for police to show up at his home. It’s been said he was afraid of the “Obama gun ban” that’s on its way (he’s likely also afraid of Obama’s socialist/Marxist agenda, his planned Muslim caliphate and his national service slave/drone army; he should be afraid of the Easter Bunny, too, because he’s just as real a danger). You can dismiss the shooter as a lone nutter, but remember, a lot of people share his concern. Gun sales are way up. And three cops are dead as a result of one man’s paranoia and a weapon he should never have been able to procure.

Now is a scary time to live in America. It’s clear we need to immediately take serious, effective steps to reduce violence within our borders. At the same time, I think there are some places in the world that could use a little more of it. (Re-read that if you need to.)

Yet another cargo ship has been
hijacked off the coast of Somalia, this one with at least 20 Americans on board. Piracy has become so frequent and – seemingly – so easy in the region that it’s turning into a bad joke. The typical scenario is this: a half-dozen guys armed with machine guns and grenade launchers zip out in a speedboat, seize a ship and either claim its cargo or demand a ransom for the release of the vessel and crew. On occasion, these men take time out from their shipboard hijacking duties to observe religious holidays. Let it never be said pirates are devoid of values!

For the life of me, I can’t understand why a few of the world’s powerful, armed nations can’t simply blast these pirate vessels out of the water on sight. A few guys in a small boat? I am seeing minimal ammo expenditure here. We’re allowing a few bullies to hold the entire school hostage, and it’s embarrassing, frustrating and mostly preventable. A single, well-aimed shot (say, in the direction of the speedboat’s fuel tank) from even a small gun on a plane, helicopter or military ship could put a stop to an imminent hijacking.

Any surviving pirates would then be given the opportunity to fill up a shark’s belly, or to have their own lungs filled with the ocean’s finest briny stuff. Yes, an essential part of this battle against the pirates is a “no rescue” policy. We have already wasted far too much time on these people. Let the pirates back home get the message that we’re done with them from the sight of their buddies’ bodies washing up on the beach.

I would say the same thing were this to be happening off the coast of a European country instead of an African one, lest anyone think my cavalier attitude toward the pirates’ lives to be racially motivated.

And then there’s Kim Jong-Il. Remember the little Asian dictator so desperate to stay in the headlines that he performs needlessly provocative
missile tests from time to time? It’s his way of saying, “Since I don’t have much of my own, I will f*ck the world with this baby. You complain and threaten sanctions, but you know you love it, b*tches!” People of North Korea: Why don’t just smother this guy already? Have you never heard of pillows, or does your “Dear Leader” not allow you to have those? We’re one palace guard away from restoring sanity and security to the region. The world needs – and awaits – your initiative.