Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Take Your Dirty Hands Off My Swine Flu Shot, Granny: A BogsBlog Special Edition

Pete Bogs here, with a BogsBlog Special Edition on the swine flu (which sounds like some kind of biological warfare agent created by the CIA to use on radical Islamists), aka “H1N1” (which sounds like a London postal code, but I digress a second time).

I haven't had any kind of inoculation since 1986, when I got a measles shot that was required for college. Long story short, I got a live batch that gave me the measles, but was not accepted into the university. The incident gave me a deep distrust of vaccines (and questionable college admission criteria) for decades thereafter. I'm not sure what was more irritating, the rash or the snub. (This is similar to a situation in which several AIDS cases linked to a Florida dentist made me avoid dental visits like, well, like the plague for about a decade. Ok, I am somewhat of a hypochondriac.)

But with a supply of swine flu shots supposedly on the way, I'm seriously thinking about going "under the needle" for the first time since Reagan and Gorby met at Reykjavik (I think it was actually the same week). I do ok with needles; it's what's in them that has concerned me ever since that unfortunate 1986 occurrence. As I am neither a health care worker, nor elderly, nor very young, nor saddled with a weak immune system, however, I will probably be put to the end of the line for a shot. Bastards! I am a paying passenger and I demand a seat in this lifeboat!

I am actually anticipating a run on the vaccine, resulting in long lines, rationing and lots of angry people. And that's without our country switching from its flawless, enviable free market health care system to an evil public option socialist model. With people dying from this illness, the clamor for inoculation may make the raucous town hall meetings that have thus far comprised the U.S. health care debate seem like tea socials. I certainly plan to crack a few skulls. Or at least pull a Peter Griffin:

So get ready for it, folks. You, too, may soon find yourself shamelessly shoving a feeble granny aside to get to your own dose. If you must jostle the elderly, though, please be sure to at least wash your hands before (and after) doing so. This article reminds us that washing our hands regularly is essential to stemming the flow of contagious diseases.

But we shouldn’t need a reminder to wash our hands. Most of our mothers told us this when we were young. Most of us remember this every time we see someone leave a toilet stall and head for the door without stopping at the sink. And I, Pete Bogs, reminded you in
this post, wherein I stated that hand washing should be considered not simply a suggestion, but a patriotic duty, with harsh penalties for those who don’t comply. So you can't say you don't know. Take it from a marketing professional: “There’s never been a better time” to adopt this good habit, folks.

Be healthy.


K9 said...

are you joking? you are NOT taking that shot are you? bogshond please! the flu isnt as bad as they are saying and as meticulous as you are its not needed. i dont trust it and your measles story is why. let me send you some ionized silver you take sublingually.

Pete Bogs said...

K9/Jenny McCarthy,
As if I would accept a pill from a consternative and place it under my tongue! I know you people with your cyanide suicide pills! This liberal is not fooled!

H1N1 first got my attention when I was in London earlier this year. I didn’t watch much TV, but every day the headlines were swine flu gloom and doom. I was traveling everywhere in tight, sealed train cars (The Tube) packed so full with people that I think American officials would fine the transit authority for unsafe practices. A great place for communicable diseases to spread. As it turns out, I came back from the UK under the weather, was tested for H1N1 but was found to have only bronchitis.

But I got a good scare. I am still deciding if I want to get immunized. I may not qualify.

Nice of you to visit.

dianne said...

If you had such a bad reaction to your measles innoculation maybe you should discuss the swine flu shot with your medical practitioner and discuss any adverse side effects before you decide.
Yes lack of hygienic practice is a worry with some medical and dental practitioners,hospitals, restaurants and food preparation. There is absolutely no excuse for cross infection if all the guidelines are followed, I am amazed at the number of people who don't do a simple thing like washing their hands and these days there are those carry with you hand sterilising gels so there is no excuse for spreading germs. ♥

LeftLeaningLady said...

Hi Pete. You are finding more time to blog lately than I am. I am planning to get the shot if I am able. I will be higher on the list than you, but not much. I have never had a problem with vaccinations, no one in my family has.

Funny how I just decided to pop in the day after you post. :-)

Pete Bogs said...

dianne - I may talk with my doctor when I go for a physical next month. She can't tell me, though, whether or not what's in the needle that goes into my arm will be a good dose. The measles were given to me by a doctor. They're supposed to make sure you don't get these diseases. The hand washing thing is so absurd because it's so simple and obvious. I can't believe more people don't do it. We have to shame them, force them, goad them into adopting better hygiene habits; it's not just their own health that's at stake, but ours.

LLL - Nice to see you! I hope everyone who gets this shot has a good experience. Still undecided on getting myself. Take care.

Jack K. said...

One of the advantages of being of advanced maturity is that I am very, very low on the eligibility list.

I did get the regular flu shot this year.

Pete Bogs said...

jack - still not sure about either vaccine... we shall see... good to see you here!