Friday, August 08, 2008

Do These Olympics Seem A Bit Gamey To You?

"Cocker spaniels: They've been on my training table since I was a kid." - Li Ling Jaun, 2008 Olympian

China opened its first-ever Olympic Games today, August 8, 2008, in the grand style one has come to expect of these events. But the location wasn’t the only first, as the longstanding medal-awarding structure has been altered to meet the requirements of the host country.

Prior to 2008, the standard award hierarchy was as follows:

First Place = Gold
Second Place = Silver
Third Place = Bronze

A few award levels have been added or changed for these games at the behest of the Chinese government:

First Place = Gold
Second Place = Lead
Third Place = 20 years hard labor
Fourth Place = SARS
Fifth Place+ = Immediate execution

PS: An obscure 16th century soothsayer is said to have had foreknowledge of the 2008 games. His words are somewhat vague, so judge for yourself:

"And on the day when the three eights are in alignment, the nations of the world shall meet in the Eastern kingdom, and there shall their warrior minions wage a bloodless battle for prize and pride. Bloodless, that is, provided the pollution or food doesn't kill anyone. Don't hold your breath. On second thought, do." - Nostradumbass

21 comments:

LeftLeaningLady said...

You are a nut. Why didn't I realize that, of course, you would have to comment on the Olympics, since they are in China.

Funny, as always, Pete.

You are missed!

Aunty Belle said...

Heh...Oh Bawgsy, ya made me laugh--ruefully. I'se jes' watched Phelps take Gold, which is so thrillin'...but doan tell nobody, cause I'e supposed to be boycottin' the thang--but Uncle twisted mah arm.

How are ya'??

Jack K. said...

We thought we were going to "boycott" the thang, but got sucked in at the opening ceremony.

It is sad, but amusing, to learn that the particulates in the air have some very magical qualities. No sooner does a good rain wash them out then they appear again.

Now that is some magic.

We watched part of the women's cycling. It was amazing to watch the Korean rider ride off into a ditch next to the road. She took a few other riders down in the process.

The interesting thing was that the ditch had what looked like a chain-link fence next to it. However it was on the far side of the ditch, and nowhere close enough to keep riders out of the ditch. It was almost spectacular as the young South Africans ride down the hill during the Tour de France. In either case it had to be painful. Ouch!!!

Keep on keepin' on.

dianne said...

You are so funny Pete, of course you would have to have a comment about China and the Olympics. I still remember your post about 'The Smoking Egg Roll', wonder what the catering is like over there for the athletes, the mind boggles as to what is on the menu and where the ingredients came from? I would definitely stay away from poultry & pork, well I would anyway. :)
Just wanted to tell you that I now have my own Blog, not funny like yours but it would be nice if you came over to say Hi!

Pete Bogs said...

LLL - thanks for coming on by!

aunt b - can't complain, cause no one would listen!

jack - I didn't expect to watch many events, but ended up watching quite a bit of volleyball, rowing and swimming... love the USA women's beach volleyball - they kick ass, and show some, too!

dianne - welcome back! would love to visit your blog... congrats! PS: check out my video in the previous post!

dianne said...

Yes I did watch your previous video, its a shame the Democratic party has let you down in the face of the most destructive presidency in U.S history. xoxox

K9 said...

grrrrrherherhahahaha!

my fav event: chinaman on a stick. no, not pole vaulting.

im not boycotting the olympics tho. no point in punishing EVERY nations athletes.

unless everybody stops buying nikes and other tennis shoes, cars, computers, toys.....its a pointless stand. pointless!!!!

Lil Bit said...

LOL!! ohhhhhhhh, I have a funny email to fwd over to you that a friend sent to me, along these lines, if you're interested...

Pete Bogs said...

k9 - I never planned to boycott the games, though I never expected to watch them either... as it turns out, I had company last weekend and they wanted to watch...

the election, however, I am planning to boycott under certain circumstances...

lil bit - bring it on!

Bird said...

ok, my boycott of the olympics has nothing to do with politics.

it's quite simple ...

no need to watch anything else besides

BASEBALL!

it's a travesty i tell ya - a travesty that the olympics and god forbid, FOOTBALL (ugh!) occupies so much air time on the television when baseball season isn't anywhere near over yet!

and this from the girl whose team is not only one of the worst in its division and league, but in the US. however, instead of chanting: Let's Go Giants!, we can always chant:

we're not the worst! we're not the worst! (yet)

Lil Bit said...

LOL, ok, un-PC email comin' yo way, lol... but then again, I never claimed to *be* PC, so there ya go. ;)
Hope it makes ya smile. =D

LeftLeaningLady said...

Stopped by to make sure you aren't being blown away, Pete. How about a quick post to let the world know that you are doing ok?

boneman said...

screw th eolympics.

infinitesmal has an opinion....

boneman said...

Yeah...that's how i first linked ya, and thought you knew.
I think I wandered over and said, but then, I do talk funny and, it turns out, I write like I talk....sometimes.

boneman said...

Got Guiness?
(see a guy with beer foam on his upper lip, a great big ol grin...[burp]....then a bigger smile)

boneman said...

OK, so?
I can be a freakin' hothead if I wanna.

And now there ain't no freakin' blog tHERE.
Dang!

I'm as bad as you.
Dame from Australia pist me off, so I 'off'ed the blog.


Dang!

Gotta get a grip on that temper....
dang!

Pete Bogs said...

boney - thanks for stopping in... I always enjoy visits from the Aussie women here... sorry to hear you don't...

dianne said...

Hi Pete, I'm that 'Aussie dame' who pissed him off, I'm still trying to work out what I did to make him lose his temper and do something so stupid. Did you short-circuit your keyboard Boney? Pete I hope you will still come and visit me? :)

boneman said...

a hush falls over the crowd...
boneman steps up to the board
(and folks, sometimes he is very boring...)
but this is for the gold.
His hand raises...
he's lifting...
OH What a fabulous, four point deletion!
Yes! Boneman has over-reacted and deleted all four of his blogs in one swift afternoon!



Too bad there
s not a gold medal to hand him, though, as there is no
over-reacting event
at the olympics.
Instead we have
a gold colored glass.
Won't he be proud showing that off?

Oh, how sad.
And yet, not at all, because one blog is neater, swifter, and takes almost no time to deal with.

I say 'almost' because, well, you definitely have to watch where yopu step when there's gators hanging about.

Pete Bogs said...

boney - ouch! a fit of pique? a bipolar episode? or just tired of the maintenance?

Lil Bit said...

Olympics will be seen in a whole new "light". Tomorrow.
So don't miss it. LOL! ;)