Thursday, May 01, 2008

The Smoking Egg Roll

I now have proof positive - in the form of a smoking egg roll - that China is conducting an unconventional war against the United States through tainted consumer goods. They are trying to sicken us all - adults, children, and even pets.

I recently bought a package clearly labeled “vegetable egg rolls” at my local supermarket. Later, I was well through eating one of the “vegetable egg rolls” when I detected a strange taste and decided to look inside. The damned thing had chicken in it!

I don’t eat dead things, and was quite disgusted. These weren’t big chunks of chicken, mind you, but small pieces like you’d get in a packet of instant soup, otherwise I would‘ve noticed sooner.

Yes, the war has now hit me in my own home, and I am pissed.

I should also add that on more than one occasion I have bitten into an appetizer spring roll at a Chinese restaurant, only to find chicken or some such substance inside, after being assured it contained no dead animal pieces. “No meat. Just vestible (sic). Only vestible.”

See? Those are two pretty damning “pieces” of evidence right there, if I do say so myself.

So what if those prepackaged egg rolls are made in Texas? So what if most of the people working in Chinese restaurants here are actually Korean? My initial assertion regarding China is sound.

China, I am on to you!

PS: I sent the maker of the aforementioned packaged egg rolls an email through their website, but never received a response from them. I want some free shit, people!

PSS: Boycott the 2008 Summer Olympics, free Tibet, yadda yadda yadda.

PSSST: I recently bought a video camera and am considering posting all-singing, all-dancing, all-nude, all-talking video blogs here. At long last my shameful physical deformities and severe speech impediment will be revealed to the blogosphere. This could be fun!


Aunty Belle said...

HO! I'se wif' ya on all that China stuff--an hail ya-yes boycott the Olympics.

But, uh..Sugar Pie, the only deformity ya' has is yore liberalism.

Pete Bogs said...

no, aunt b - that's the gift that I share with the world!

she said...

grrerhahaha. i agree with your premise. as for the boycotting of olympics ive always hated that idea it only punishes athletes and i can assure you, will not deter China in making policy.

its becoming clear to me that food is going to be an issue. one reason i am reforming my business to be 100% internet based is so i can live where ever. i hope to spend my golden years out in a garden; vegetables, fruit trees and berries. i dont trust labels. and i dont trust restaurants. some high end restaurants in ATL were busted by the local news team claiming fish they were serving was caught in US waters and then the reporter produced cartons from china marked with the product they claimed was local. they had fished them out of the dumpster. which is a nice metaphor for chinas fish farm raising practices.

good to see you back bogshond - since youre a nudist i expect some 5 star youtubes in the future.

LeftLeaningLady said...

I don't think we should be giving China anymore more money than we already do by sending our athletes over there. I also don't know why our athletes should have to give up their dreams when we are going to continue to sell the rest of the country to them.

I am sorry you have been attacked in your own home. I have a friend who is allergic to poultry and he has to read the labels, even on things like "Beef gravy" to ensure it does not kill him. I don't think you can do anything if the chicken is listed on the ingredients, no matter if it says "vegetable egg rolls" on the label.

And I figure you will hear back from the manufacturer about the time I hear back from Howard Dean on my vote doesn't count. 22 Minutes past NEVER.

Glad to have you back!

Pete Bogs said...

I don't think we should boycott the Olympics... hence the PS status I gave it here, and the yadda yadda yadda... it punishes the poeple who have trained (and juiced - let's be honest) for so long... Mitt Romney of all people said something to this effect yesterday - it's not about the host country it's about the athletes from many countries... and if, as I read somewhere, the games will cause the Chinese to cut back on dog comsumption, all the better!

John said...

Hey Pete.

Pete Bogs said...

hello, stranger! welcome...

boneman said...

It's a gal in Australia and she has a thing about four posts down from the top that you'll like.

Now, I'm not sure what K9 is referring to, zactly, but, if you could just do us a lil favor....
If there's nude pix of you in it, could y'all give us a lil warning?
Not that you wouldn't be oh quite the adonis and all....just that I'm more prone to appreciate the female form than dudes, eh.

Bird said...

deformed liberals unite!

but bogs - the olympics aren't really about the athletes- the olympics are about nationalism!

U.S.A.! U.S.A!

Oh and least we forget - endorsements! Who is on the Wheaties box these days? Oh yeah, that's chump change - it's the SHOES now.

I miss Jim McKay and the
and that terrible clip of the skier (sp?) tumbling, tumbling, tumbling down the snow-covered steep hill into the barricade.
Yeah - the Olmpics are about SPECTACLE too.

Pete Bogs said...

boney - I am not making any promises either way...

boidy - ah yes, how could I forget Wheaties, which have "been on my training table since I was a kid?"

it's about endorsements... but I think the most important aspect of the Olympics is the juicing... the testing... the controversy... and the shameful returning of medals not rightfully earned...

Pink said...

well, you MIGHT post some videos.

that is...unless your camera was made in China!


Lil Bit said...

Re "PSSST" -- DO IT!!!
Triple dog damn dare you! lol

she said...

wheres the videos?

Pete Bogs said...

she, et al - was going to post earlier this week but had some tech problems... I have a brand new computer and a brand new camera, and I'm not comfortable using the software yet...

Reverend X said...

Boggity Boggity, How ya been? Gettin Sickened on the Chicken? Well, I in no way excuse their Toxic Export Policy, but we did poison a generation of their kids with Ethyl Mercury , so I guess we had it coming. Either karmicly or poetically, however you wanna take it.