NOT COOL! A 19-year-old Saudi woman who was gang-raped has been given 200 lashes (and not the eye kind!) and six months in jail for being in a car with a male who was not her relative. Despite international pressure, the Saudi Ministry of Justice is standing by the verdict, as the "charges" against the woman have been "proven." So fucking what? You people are barbarians who have no place living in the 21st century! When is President Bush going to order an invasion of Saudi Arabia to free those oppressed people?
“Look at you, holding hands with the man from Riyadh...
Would you care to explain?”
Would you care to explain?”
HOT AIR! Kyla Ebbert, the former Hooters waitress who was nearly removed from a Southwest Airlines flight for wearing a miniskirt, is thumbing her clothes at the airline with a nude, um, spread on playboy.com. Next stop, her own talk show or CD? My apartment, perhaps? (I kid; she's a made-up ho.)
PROGRESS! Though stem cells have now been created from skin instead of human embryos, I’m sure the Catholic Church will still find some reason to object.
TRANSGRESS! Why not covet your brother's wife? Because you could become a father-uncle, and that's confusing. But it didn’t stop Earl Paulk, head of the Cathedral of the Holy Spirit at Chapel Hill Harvester Church from “knowing” his sister-in-law and “begetting” a son-nephew some three and a half decades ago. Church may be a place for family, but this is ridiculous. Oh, the seeds we sow when we sow those seeds in bed.
BUSTED! Warren Jeffs, leader of a branch of the Utah-based Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, has been convicted as an accomplice to rape for arranging a forced marriage between a 14-year-old girl and her 19-year-old cousin. That’ll show these religious sex maniacs. I have some attractive cousins, but come on!
WELL, DUH! Former Bush spokesman Scott McClellan has written a new book in which he claims that, not only were Karl Rove and Lewis “Scooter” Libby involved in leaking the identity of CIA operative Valerie Plame, but Dick Cheney, George W. Bush and Bush’s chief of staff Andrew Card were all directly involved. Feeling guilty about all those years of denial, Scotty? You lying bastard. Enabler!!!
THE PASSION OF THE CHEAP LABOR! Christ may have suffered on the cross for our sins, but some Chinese workers have had a pretty rough time themselves while creating depictions of same. St. Patrick’s Cathedral and other churches have apparently been selling crucifixes made in Chinese sweatshops. I’ll give the churches (which have since suspended sales of some items) the benefit of the doubt that they didn’t know from whence the merchandise came, but we’ve seriously got to stop buying stuff from "those people" (the Chinese). They probably make the Christ figure out of lead.
SPILL IT! Presidential Candidate Rudy "Mr. 9/11" Giuliani's consulting firm, Guiliani Partners, has been reticent to reveal a complete list of its clients, explaining that some of those clients have requested their identities remain private. How can we be sure there are no Al-Qaedas or worse, Bernard Keriks, among the bunch if Rudy won't fess up? If we must have a president with a lisp and a comb-over, we should at least be sure he's on the up-and-up.
There! Now who says it's not polite to talk about religion, politics or sex in mixed company? I found that quite stimulating.
Next post Monday: Three more to go!