It drives me nuts when someone calls me on the phone, and when I pick up, they continue to talk to someone at their end for another 30 seconds before acknowledging me. Dialing a phone is a commitment; don't call me unless you mean it, and you're ready to talk. Once you dial, you're on my time.
I previously stated that I think menopause should be called "menostop." I've since reconsidered; it should be called "womenopause." Yeah, I like it.
I think washing one's hands ought to be considered a patriotic duty, and those who do not do so should be publicly chided and possibly even fined. I picture Soviet-style propaganda posters in restrooms featuring paranoia-inducing messages like "Did You Wash Those Hands Well Enough?" and "Germs Are Not Your Friends." I'd even provide rewards to those who "inform" on others who fail to wash their hands. Seriously, folks, we keep hearing more and more about how hand washing is crucial to helping prevent the spread of some diseases. It's such a simple thing. Do your duty. We're all in this together, and I don't want your damned germs.
I get a kick out of motorcycle riders. It's not only the "Watch Out For Motorcycles" bumper stickers they have on their cars, which put the onus of safety on me because they've decided to drive an unsafe vehicle between traffic lanes at 90 mph without a helmet, that give me a chuckle. It's their insistence on wearing t-shirts touting motorcycling while motorcycling. Do we all wear car shirts when driving our cars? Do pilots wear t-shirts with pictures of planes on them? Sea captains, little boats? So what if I sometimes wear a band's shirt to their concert? It's different.
I hereby demand that advertisements for movies and TV shows discontinue the use of the word "event." Movies and TV shows are not events; an event is a significant occurrence of a specific duration. Woodstock was an event. OK, it was also a movie, but you get my meaning. Jesus, picky picky.
Should radio stations that changed music formats two years ago be allowed to continue calling themselves "new" indefinitely? I think not. Time to get some new promos, you guys.
And now, our main feature...
The "brassiere" is 100 years old this year. No word yet on whether it's going to go out on the town to celebrate and loosen up a bit. One thing's for certain: It's been through a lot of changes over the years. At one time it had torpedo-shaped cups that severely distorted the woman's natural shape (see Lieutenant Uhura as an example) and likely poked out many an eye. Once it had way too much fabric for its own good (the "industrial strength" bra, as I call it); your grandmother wore one of these, and she probably still does. During the 60s the bra was sometimes used as an incendiary device. And the Wonder Bra was hailed as a miraculous invention for the volume and lift it gave women during the 90s.
As popular as the padded, sculpted model and copycat products have become (they are arguably the "standard" bra nowadays), overall I think it was a setback for women's apparel. At least from a male perspective. Sure, it looks good (if the woman knows how to wear it), but that's only an illusion. We've all been told that looks aren't everything, right? It's what inside (the bra) that counts.
And what of the "feel?" Padded bras have had a deleterious impact on heavy petting. Getting to second base hasn't been the same since their introduction. A whole generation of teen boys is now walking around thinking it copped a feel last Saturday night after the football game; those guys might as well have been fondling the couch cushions. Who wants a handful of foam? How romantic is that? Yeah, give me a nice unpadded, front-opening model any day. And make me 16 again, so I can have another shot at being an early bloomer.
Next post Friday: End of an era!