Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Homeless Got Your Goat?

San Francisco has recently had success clearing troublesome homeless people from area parks, thanks to the goat. Goats have been brought to these parks to eat the tall grass, which the former homeless, er, residents would typically use for cover. With no place to park their shopping carts, the homeless have moved on to new accommodations.

The goat strategy has been so successful that now Frisco's city fathers are thinking of taking it to the next level: breeding carnivorous goats with a taste for human flesh, a la Mason Verger, and unleashing them on homeless encampments. Mmm. Gamey, but quite flavorful due to all the self-marinating they did during life.

PS: Ever eaten at a Quizno's? They put their sandwich meats in these plastic baskets and dip them in warm water before putting the meat on the bread. My question is, what happens to all that "meat water" at the end of the day? Do they just pour it out, when it'd make a fine, thin broth for the hungry masses? What a shameful waste! I think I just invented "hobo's broth."

PSS: All longtime BogsBlog readers know of my compassionate attitude toward the homeless, so just calm down. They still make a great topic for satire now and again.

16 comments:

she said...

you know, ive been wanting an african pygmy goat. but i already travel with two hens and a hound. chickorys neighbors use goats to clear lots and they are efficient.

flesh eating goats? are they omnivores? they are in your blog! grrehahaha

you know there was this big fallout here with mexicans raising goats then killing them and stringing them up in their back yards ...getting prepped for some cabrito tacos....anyway the predictable culture clash followed.

im all for the hobo broth as longs as they dont serve it in eola park (you know that story?)

meat water. yechhh. by the way thats the first thing they served me post op...beef broth. i was like...how about some yellow jello? grrerhahaha

Pete Bogs said...

she - you were supposed to ask what I was doing in a Quizno's! lol

I do know the story on Eola Park - I wrote that blog last summer...

continue to heal up... I am home sick (two words) today, but I feel like I am improving...

she said...

what were you doing at quizmos? ghererhhaa

NOW i remember - this is where i read the eola park story! how frustrating for a writer to have a reader refer back to his own post! writing sucks! grrerhahaha

(OT: you wanna read something fun? locate the article in new york magazine about the writers at the webiste gawker. oct 22 issue. l love the bit about how the writers now are going to be paid by the amount of page views they generate...ooooo baby: vishus)

home sick? oh no! i hate that. get well soon bogshond. and avoid all meat waters.

Pete Bogs said...

she - eating the veggie and cheese sandwich, and getting disgusted at the meat water... ironically, broth is what they give people for a cold... but I'm skipping it anyway...

I am flattered you remember a post of mine from last year, even though you didn't remember where you read it...

later

she said...

feeling better today? hope so. no need to reply just get well and get back to satire.

Aunty Belle said...

Huh? Ya'll havin' a private gabfest?

Hope ya both feels chipper in no time!

Aunty Belle said...

SHE means this:
http://nymag.com/news/features/39319/

Jack K. said...

Hope you're feeling better. Try a nice vegetable broth.

Pete Bogs said...

I am feeling ok... not back up to normal, but a little better... I have heard much about Gawker but still don't know quite what it is!

Aunty Belle said...

Aw, Bawgs, dern...what is the veggie version of Jewish penicillin?

Gawker ain't much--'bout what ya'd expect when a 40 something millionaire runs a blogger sweatshop wif'20 something bloggers aimin' to BE the 40 somethin' millionaire someday iffin' they can write jes' the right lines, or dream up the right catty cynical blogger niche (Jossip.com, Jezebel.com)---an' meanwhile takin' cheap shots at whoever's made a buck other than them---an' all about the NYC underclassed publishin' world.

Bird said...

i ain't seen no goats yet.

plenty of homeless folk.

i'm thinking of buying some mcdonald's coupons and keeping them handy in my pocket to give intstead of money to homeless folk that seem ...sincere - or legit.

the haight and the castro both are filled with so-called "homeless". young kids - late teens, early twenties. they look pretty clean too- as though they come from decent homes. but they pretend to be homeless and beg in the streets.

or mock people.

i'd like to kick them in the ass and tell them "get a fucking job! make your mother proud, you asswipe."

but i don't.

i'm just ranting here.sorry bogs.
(and MUST you call my fair city "frisco?" of course you must. i'll allow it - though you know better, you just can't seem to help yourself.)

flap/flap/flap
time to get ready for

BASEBALL!

Pete Bogs said...

bird - the legitimately hungry ones will appreciate anything you give them... the shysters are disappointed when you don't give them actual money...

she said...

uh-oh no new post. i hope you are feeling better. should i grind a chicken foot to powder and throw it into the fire with an eye of newt? or fed ex some vegetable soup?

Pete Bogs said...

she - thanks for your concern... am slowly coming back to life... expect a new post by mid-week...

Aunty Belle said...

OT, but it is from San Fran...thought you and Bird NAd She-Pup would want to know:

News Release from Miller Brewing Company
Milwaukee, October 26, 2007

Miller Brewing Company today issued a formal apology for the offense caused by the use of Miller brand logos on a poster promoting the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. The company said it has taken action to ensure that such an incident will not happen again.

Miller has just completed an exhaustive audit of its marketing procedures for approving local marketing and sales sponsorships, and it is implementing plans to tighten its compliance procedures. The company has received assurances from its local distributor in San Francisco and from Folsom Street Events that future marketing materials and event activities will fully comply with Miller’s marketing policies and procedures.

“We deeply regret that we did not adhere to our own policies with regard to the Folsom Street Fair,” said Miller Senior Vice President Nehl Horton. “We apologize to everyone we offended as a result. We hope people will forgive us for this serious error and have confidence we will not repeat it.”

Pete Bogs said...

aunt b - a lot of the same people who were offended by the fair don't even drink alcohol, so that's kind of silly... I think the most offensive aspect over all was that these guys were drinking MGD... cripes that's disgusting!