"Well I heard Lynyrd Skynyrd sing about her
I heard old Skynyrd sing her proud
Well I hope Lynyrd Skynyrd will remember
Alabama's apparently still run by a bunch of backwards-ass yahoos"
Guns and fireworks are easy to come by in Alabama, but it will soon be hard to, um, come by sex toys (aka “marital aids”) in that state, as selling them there is now illegal. Alabama's 1998 law forbidding the sale of such items, under which some people have already been incarcerated, stands.
After nearly a decade of battles in lower courts, the issue recently worked its way up to the highest court in the land. But the Supreme Court refused to touch the sex toy case, stating, "Eww... we don't know where that case has been."
Possession of said toys is not criminal, though the sale of them for anything other than a “boner fide medical use” is strictly verboten. Honestly, do you have control over what anyone does with something after they buy it?
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go masturbate into the Confederate flag I just bought.
PS: How do you spell the plural of "dildo?" Does it get an "e" added in? Where's that dildo Dan Quayle when you need him?