Monday, September 24, 2007

The Sad, Shocking Outcome Of Globalization


It was only a matter of time before this happened. Symbol of the Decadent West, Barbie is facing summary execution in China over lead poisoning concerns. Ken is said to be up next in front of the firing squad, on charges of "corrupting the morals of China's youth" with his "depraved lifestyle preferences." (Most of us have known for years that the Barbie and Ken relationship was only for show, and that Ken was more interested in G.I. Joe. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Barbie was a real doll for fronting for Ken for so many years, IMHO.)

I, for one, will miss Babs. She was the only female I knew who never, ever made a fuss when you took her pants down.

16 comments:

Bird said...

I love The Onion. I've tried to use it in my courses, but damn! - those kids don't get it. Still I try to teach them parody and irony.

I agree - Barbie was a doll to play the beard for Ken lo these many years. But Ken paid dearly you know - who do you think paid for Babs' wardrobe? Dream house? Convertible? Not to mention her med school adventure and the surgery she's had to 1) improve her back muscles - all that boob wieght you know, and 2) remove the varicose veins those high heels have caused her over the half century.

Perhaps we could send Blackwater into China to rescue Barbie from those wicked Chinese!

Viva la Barbie!

she said...

i wish they would axe sponge bob square pants. you just KNOW he's loaded with bacteria. (probably raw dog juice they wiped up the floor with.)

Pete Bogs said...

bird - Barbie did have a lot of work done... that's why she looks so plastic...

she - sponges ARE the dirtiest things in the house... perhaps they could just microwave Bob for a few minutes?

she said...

i know. i change mine with fanatical regularity.

Pete Bogs said...

she - don't go all Howard Hughes on us now! ;-)

she said...

too late.

Jack K. said...

My daughter used to work for the Onion in LA. She is moving on to bigger and better things. It is a great paper.

LeftLeaningLady said...

Too funny.

Actually Pete, I think your comments on Ken and Joe were funnier than the actual Onion article. Worth a great chuckle!

Pete Bogs said...

she - trim those nails while you're at it!

jack - I remember you mentioning that one time before... awesome... wish I could take her place there!

LLL - thanks... though I think the notion of Ken as gay goes back to Eddie Murphy and his SNL days... I think he was onto something...

Bird said...

oh yuck she! i love sponge bob (such an inane, insipid character), but now you've ruined him for me. now he's nothing more than a nasty, bacteria-filled yucky mess of blob disguised in yellow pants - he's clearly a threat to our children - all those germs.

besides, his creators were clearly on some poor-grade of acid when they created him.

Aunty Belle said...

Bawgs, hilarious. Hee hee...


Sadly the Chinese are also killin' they own wif' this stuff--a huge clean up job over theah--

I'd shure love it iffin' you'd stop by the FRONT Porch an'a leave me a suggestion.....

Pete Bogs said...

bird - someone had to break it to you...

aunt b - yes indeed... one of the reasons they are "on my list" and fodder for constant criticism... I'd hate to live over there...

she said...

OT i just read at aunties about all the filmaking books youve read. are you holding back on us? show us your films. (i have mine posted now...okay...im just learning but im excited to learn this is an area of interest for you too)

Pete Bogs said...

she - I am a film school graduate... I have 40 books on Kubrick alone...

Infinitesimal said...

the Onion was started here in Madison.

I have some of the original issues from the 80's that my friend gave me when he moved.

Pete Bogs said...

contessa - yup, I know... it's a great publication - that I should be writing for!