Ice Cream Man Moonlights As The Candy Man
Mister Softee, say it ain't so! As a young lad in Brooklyn I always excitedly scrambled home for some cash when I heard the ice cream man’s incessant tune growing near. But nowadays I’d need to grab bail money if I wanted any of his frozen treats, since a New York ice cream truck operator has been busted for selling something other than soft serve ice cream – hard drugs. The old neighborhood’s changed a bit since I left. “I’ll have one Heavenly Hash, please!”
Thank You For Printing
According to one study, toner particles from computer printers are as harmful to human lungs as cigarettes. If true, we must certainly put an end to printer advertising on TV, which impressionable children might be watching. I’m always shocked and saddened to see these addicts who get right off a plane and immediately hit the “print” button. But I don’t feel bad for those inconsiderate people who insist on printing documents at the next table while I’m trying to enjoy a nice meal. There ought to be a law, I tell you.
NASA has sent a DVD containing works by major science fiction writers on a trip to Mars. I certainly hope they used the right region coding for the Red Planet’s DVD players. I wonder if the Martian players run on 50 Hz or 60 Hz current. And do they have those weird plugs, as in the UK and Europe? I hope someone thought to include a power adapter in the package.
A college study was conducted to determine and distinguish men's and women's reasons for having sex. As if anyone needs a reason to knock boots, an activity with which "reason" often has very little to do.
Shouldn’t “redouble” be synonymous with “quadruple?”