For Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, the fame and fortune he acquired from the game wasn’t enough. Vick is facing federal charges for allegedly running a dogfighting operation at his home. This "sport" involves training dogs to be vicious, then putting them in a ring with other dogs and letting them fight (usually) to the death. Spectators enjoy the thrill of seeing two animals rip each other apart, and if they’re lucky, win a nice sum of money, too. Much like cockfighting, this bloodsport involves illegal betting over the winner. “Sick Vick’s” lucrative contract with shoemaker Nike is now on hold, as the company has announced its cancellation of this summer’s planned release of the Air Zoom Vick V. At least for now.
And speaking of hurting dogs, the recent story on cardboard-filled meat buns from China is now said to have been a hoax, the story’s reporter allegedly having staged his shocking camera footage. Yet the Chinese have such faith in the integrity of their own products that many of them don’t believe the story was a hoax. They’re keeping their hands off the buns for now.
Ok, so the Chinese aren't the only ones putting out shitty products. Augusta, Georgia-based (my birthplace) Castleberry’s Food Co. has recalled cans of hot dog chili and other meats after several people were hospitalized with botulism. What is this, the Middle Ages? If you have any cans of that chili you are strongly advised to throw them away, lest you be botulized. While you’re at it, toss the hot dogs you intended to put them on; it's all nasty shit, folks.
Homemakers-in-training have been impacted by a recall of nearly one million Easy Bake ovens. It seems some kids were getting their fingers caught and/or burned in the things. Toy ovens. Hmm. Perhaps these kids can stand over the ovens puffing on those bubble gum cigarettes while they wait for their cakes to bake? Next up: A recall of the “Easy Shot” semiautomatic BB gun with long-range night-vision scope and silencer.
Well, be safe in your consuming habits, consumers. I’m off to Boston tomorrow to plan a new war of aggression with some Northern liberals, and this is my last post until next week sometime.
PS: Who says there's never any good news? Those six foreign medics who were accused of infecting Libyan children with HIV, spent eight years in a Libyan jail, were tortured and faced execution, have all been freed and sent home. Hurray!