Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I Am Tired Of These Mother****ing Nut Allergies On This Mother****ing Plane!

"If you would take a second, and take the little sticks out of your head, and clean out your ears, and maybe you would see that I'm a person, with feelings. And all I have to do, is do what I wanna do, is eat my peanuts, and not listen to you. And the only way that I would ever let go of my bag of peanuts, is if you came over here right now and tried to pry it from my dead, lifeless fingers. If you can get it from my Kung Fu grip, then you can come and have it. Otherwise, step off, bitch."

When I flew to Boston last week a flight attendant announced that a person with a severe nut allergy was aboard, and that said person had requested that no one consume any nuts or nut products during the flight.

I’m not callous, but I wonder if it’s fair for 99.5% of people to be inconvenienced for the other 0.5% in any given situation. I mean, doesn’t it make sense that the concerned individual inconvenience themselves rather than anyone else? Yes, these freakish allergics are selfish!

So, what’s my plan for the allergic? Just deal with the nuts? Don’t fly on airplanes? Neither is feasible. But I think an allergy-resistant suit is in order. Kind of like the boy in the plastic bubble wearing the bubble around in public. He’d look a bit like a hazmat worker or an astronaut, but he’d be safe from that evil Mr. Peanut. Call me crazy, but while this would be inconvenient (for the wearer), it would be completely fair. Hey, if they want, the suits could come in designer styles and colors.

I don’t know where all these food allergies are coming from of late. When I was young the neighborhood mothers would give kids peanut butter sandwiches and milk without a second thought, and nobody ever dropped dead or blew up like Violet Beauregarde. There’s something going on here. And I bet the Chinese are behind it.


LeftLeaningLady said...

I am little concerned about your hatred for the Chinese. Some deep seated childhood trauma?

I believe that at times, the needs of one should be more important than the needs of many. Not, however, in this case. The person with the allergy has several choices, none of which should include inconveniencing you (or me) and I don't know that a hazmat suit would be necessary. I have a friend with a poultry allergy. He has served in the Navy for almost 20 years and he just doesn't eat the chicken. He doesn't stop others from eating chicken, though. Actually he brought his wife chicken for dinner last night because she was having a bad day!

LeftLeaningLady said...

Oh, yea, I had a REAL question.

Did you eat the nuts?

Pete Bogs said...

LLL - I did not eat the nuts... I am not as bothered by this as I come across; a lot of this was tongue in cheek... however, if I were the person with the problem I think I'd be bad putting everyone else out... this is just something that occurred to me as I was waiting to take off...

as for the Chinese, that was tongue in cheek, too... however, I have posted a series of blogs critical of China for their oppression of free thought, brutal laws, abandonment of girls and consumption of man's best friend... enter "China" in the search field of this blog and you'll see details of what I'm talking about...

LeftLeaningLady said...

Uh, the question about the Chinese was tongue in cheek also. Maybe I should work on my sarcasm? It seems to go better for me when I am speaking. I will have to think about that.

I think I would have eaten the nuts.

Pete Bogs said...

LLL - you're a rebel, you are! ;-)

Mara said...

Pete has a point though.

I don't remember as a kid growing up in suburban Sydney allergies to this and that.

What I remember is that everybody had normal stuff like chicken pox and measles and then moved on.

Something's changed.

But then again, nobody's Mum and Dad were divorced either. I can remember one girl at school out of a lot of friends that her parents were divorced.

All my sons friends, the stories they tell - wow ...

Maybe allergies, like the downslide of the "Leave to Beaver" type families are a sign of the times we live in.

As for the peanut man ... why can't he wear one of those mask thingos?

she said...

yeah what is it with all the allergies and restrictions? sounds like mr peanut needs to be exposed MORE often to peanuts and get over the hump/ "have another nutter butter and STFU!"

bogshond. come by the yard...ive got a slidehow i took at the marilyn manson "concert" last saturday.

Karen said...

"Just deal with the nuts?"

There's lots of 'em out there... beware!!


Infinitesimal said...

nut strawberries and chocolate, if introduced too soon into a child's diet will cause allergies, if the allergy is a severe one, it would stand to reason that the kid got peanut butter before he was 12 months old.

my understanding of severe nut allergies is that even the smell of a nut will close off airways in the afflicted person.

Shit Bogs, what a conservative post! I guess you are not a liberal when it comes to a person's right to not breathe nut infested air on a plane that they paid hundreds of dollars not to ride.

however, i do think the airline should be offering something suitable to replace the nuts to the other passengers, something suitable, or better, like free on flight movie earphones or a free beer.... hey now, wouldn't that have been better than a 25 cent bag of nuts?

Pete Bogs said...

infini - consternative? I see no reason to resort to insults... LOL

I merely think one person should be inconvenienced rather than everyone else... that's fair, and people with allergies should acknowledge this...