Friday, July 13, 2007

Around The World In A Daze

In Britain, female genital mutilation (alternately and inaccurately referred to as “female circumcision”) is becoming a serious issue due to an increasing number of African and Middle Eastern immigrants. I think anyone found guilty of performing, assisting or allowing one of these horrendous procedures (intended to preserve her "honor") ought to be forced to live in a pigsty and eat an all-pork diet indefinitely. The perpetrators might prefer death to that punishment, but I say we go whole hog on their asses.

Over in France, the mayor of Paris is
trying to get his city to be more polite to tourists in an effort to protect that important revenue stream. I guess that “freedom fries” thing really hit them hard, eh? (I saw that item on a menu at lunch yesterday; time to get some new menus printed up, I’d say.) The popular destination is notorious as being tough on those who don’t speak the language or who aren’t versed in other local customs. Well, if Rudy “Lil’ Bill Clinton” Giuliani could make New York City denizens “nice,” I suppose this could work, too. But I have just one question: Does this new Parisian politeness include improved personal hygiene?

China’s war on quality goods continues. A popular snack item over there has been
found to be made up, in large part, of cardboard. This is not the kind of fiber anyone needs! Whatever happened to the good old days of having to worry about MSG or household pets?


In Vatican City, the Pope has made it known that the Catholic church is the only real church. Above all, you’ve got to love Benedict XVI for his humility. Since the Vatican is a sovereign country, I think the outraged Christians of the world ought to declare war on it. Launch a crusade, if you will. But instead of converting them to Protestantism, force them all to become Unitarians just out of spite.

Brazil is going nuke-u-ler. Yes, that country’s president has announced that he intends to spend a boatload of money on the development of a nuclear submarine and uranium enrichment facilities. Personally, I think the country should stick to what it does best, fighting its eponymous war on pubic hair. And speaking of (B)ush, I hope to God that our president doesn’t have any comment on Brazil’s plans, lest we be forced to hear that word out of his mouth.

Libya has upheld the death sentences of six foreign health workers who have been charged with infecting Libyan children with AIDS. Medical experts agree that the cases were likely caused by the unsanitary conditions present in the kids’ hospital before the medicos arrived, but no matter: Libyans want vengeance! This ongoing travesty (the convicted have been held in prison since 1999) didn’t stop President Bush from announcing that he's sending the first US diplomat to that country in three and a half decades to begin normalizing relations. Nor did the fact that Libya still hasn’t atoned for its involvement in the Pan Am Flight 103 Lockerbie disaster. It’s pretty obvious that a country led by a man who can’t decide how to spell his name is not to be trusted.

In Spain, some unfortunate bulls had their horns stained with the blood of idiotic locals and tourists desperate to compensate for their tiny genitals through foolish acts of machismo during the annual running of the bulls in Pamplona. If we’re lucky, we’ll get to see another angry bull hop over the wall into a stunned crowd (como en Mexico) during the subsequent bullfights. Kind of like NASCAR for the Euro set, but more like that scene in Spartacus when the gladiator tries to kill his vile spectators instead of his opponent. Got to love that fighting spirit! ¡Soy Spartacus! (That was a "Dennis Miller extended obscure reference" moment, in case you didn't catch it.)

And the news from Down Under is that a wanted Aussie p(a)edophile has been sworn in as attorney general of the neighboring Solomon Islands. Maybe American officials are not so bad after all? Nah, they're crap, too. Bad eggs.

I'm Pete Bogs, and this has been the News of the World. Have a safe Friday the 13th.

32 comments:

LeftLeaningLady said...

Nice blog!

I am just curious, though, do you think that people should visit Paris without knowing a couple of French words and the local customs?

Pete Bogs said...

LLL - no, I don't think that's a good idea... every international trip I've taken (three!), I've done research before going... I learned a few Dutch phrases before going to Holland (didn't need to; they all speak English over there)

it's not good to just jump into another culture unawares... however, one can't be expected to learn a language of a country just because one is going to take a week's vacation there... that's too much preparation... and just not realistic...

she said...

bogs. one of my sweet dear pleasures in life is when a bull gets somebody good in the running of the bulls. i know that sounds harsh, but i cant help it.
viva los toros!

travelers who won't learn some of the language of the country they plan to visit are lazy punks. another giant state school error: failure to require a second language starting in kindergarten!

i learned dutch too...as "freya" .
i use it when i am out quite regularly. fun post today!

Pete Bogs said...

she - that's not harsh at all... did you view the footage from the Mexico bullfight? el toro jumped into the stands and had a field day with those who had been cheering his demise just moments before... there is real justice in that...

high schools and colleges here do have language requirements, but it would be better if we learned them earlier on, when we are supposedly more receptive to such a thing...

she said...

great video! i will have to add it to my collection of "total bull"...a show that highlights the greatest bucking bulls in the PBR. it's a redneck sport but at least the bulls are as popular, if not more so, than the cowboys that try and ride em. in my neck life i will come back as a stock contractor.

this much i know: no bull riding fans are gonna ruin your irish pub experience.

she said...

er, "next" life.

Pete Bogs said...

The fun continues in Pamplona…

Gored American

Is that a bull’s horn, or are you just happy to see me?

LeftLeaningLady said...

Pete,
That is what I thought you meant. I figured I misunderstood you.

I don't expect people visiting Disney World to HAVE to speak English, but a few words would be nice "food" "bathroom".

I have only been to England and Canada, so I there was no language barrier (Ok, so England was a lot of years ago & my accent was THICK), but if I ever go elsewhere I would like to be able to find food, drink (my finace' can ask for beer in 10 languages, I think), a hotel and a bathroom! Have to have the essentials!

Mara said...

Jump into a frying pan, you're sure to get burned.

Ouch.

I got lost in Tokyo last year by myself. (wandering around the back streets) Absolutely nobody spoke English, even the cop I bumped into.

If I went back to Japan which I would, I rather like the place, I would definately learn some phrases.

she said...

well every american knows "domo lo regatto mr roboto" grherha

and the bull says "are you not entertained?
are. you. not. entertained!!!???"

Aunty Belle said...

Bawgs, Sugar Pie, on China git aholt of this book:Chinese Shadows (1976),Simon Leys. Nothing better written since on the inner workings of China and the Chinese mind.


An' fer Pete's Sake, Pete, what is wrong wif' B16 sayin' the Catholic Church is the One True Church? It either is or it isn't. If it isn't, which one of the 20,000 plus Protestant churches is the ONE TRUE CHURCH?

Pete Bogs said...

LLL - I just think you have to be smart about things... you don't have to study a language for months before you take a trip, but do get to know something about where you're going...

mara - I'd heard the Japanese generally spoke English, so it's good to know that for a future trip...

she - yeah, we know that Styx song, but if you quoted it to Japanese person they'd be offended, and hand you a sword with which to do the right thing...

aunt b - I think the pope's comment was arrogant... further, I think that kind of rhetoric can only be divisive, whether it's the pope, Bush, Chavez or Ahmenijihad (sic)

Bird said...

one true church.

oh fuck off i wish to say to his holiness. sorry bogs, i forget myself - but this kind of hubris and fundamentalism just gets me!

i am not interested in any religion or any god that is so .... geesh - i can't even think of a word for it --- tyrannical, self-righteous - narrow-minded, full of bull, etc. etc. etc.

i stick my finger in the air at the church, and i bite my thumb at it too!

do you bite your thumb, bird?
i do bite my thumb, sir.
what's this - birds have thumbs- must be a freakin' miracle, but of what church? uh-oh, not the one true church - hence no true miracle.

flap/flap/ SQUAWK SCREECH SWOOP&SWOOSH!

Mara said...

Pete.
Even in the hotel they seemed to have a problem with English.
I deliberately stayed at the Holiday Inn, but suburbia not the city itself that is probably why.

I try to do that so I can walk around and see how the people live their everyday lives.
But in the backstreets of Tokyo, its the same, limited or no English.

Im with Bird on the religion thing. Well I wouldnt tell his holiness to fuck off. But I would question the organised religious thing. Especially the Abrahamic ones.

I think he would be more offended at that than just fuck off.

Aunty Belle said...

Bawgs...arrogant? Ever heard B16 speak? he is unfailingly gentle and soft-spoken. Did ya READ the document? It doan say what ya think it says. All it re-states is that those other Christian groups subsist in the Catholic Church--an that is historically obvious. So what is the big deal? If ya speak softly and tell the historically evident truth, how is that arrogant?

Ya did not answer mah inquiry. What church IS the ONE TRUE CHURCH that Christ instituted? (please doan drag out the "he never meant to set up a church" comment, since He plainly did as quoted in mah first response.)

Iffin' ya say that organized religion is not true then youse makin' a claim that differs from that of Christ. Is that what ya mean?

If that is yore case--thas' jes' fine....iffin' ya doan believe in Him anyway, why would somethin' His Vicar is sayin' be of any interest to ya a'tall?

Pete Bogs said...

bird - you could just tell the pope that, while birds typically don't have thumbs, yours is the result of EVOLUTION...

Pete Bogs said...

aunt b - I don't know what the "true" church is, or even what that means... I just know everyone likes to think of themselves as the real article, and others as false... that in itself is false... and again, I don't think that kind of rhetoric makes for good relations with other sectors of Christianity...

Aunty Belle said...

Bawgs....a thing either is or it isn't. How ya FEEL about it is not the evidence for the truth of a thing.

Iffin' those other Christian groups is offended, they oughta ask why they are not doin' what Jesus said "Father I pray that they be ONE, even as You and I are ONE."

Looky--B16 is not about being politically correct. he is about re-stating what has been said from the git go.

It ain't so hard--either Christ is God or he is a deluded carpenter. If he is the latter, we ought not waste another breath on this topic.

If, though, He is what He said, then do we need to pay attention to the rest of what He said?

What seems to me to be arrogant, is anybody that takes the liberty of makin' up a new church-- I mean, Jesus (Assumin' ya' believes in Him) did not come to bring the world 20,000 variants of truth. "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life" doan translate as "I am one way among many, I am one version of truth among thousands."

Aunty Belle said...

Bawgs, whar' is Helly?

Pete Bogs said...

aunt b - sweet shoat is MIA...

I am an agnostic, so I believe Jesus may have existed... further, from the sound of it he did some pretty good things... all the ritual, trappings, wars and prejudices his followers have brought since is what I have a problem with...

Aunty Belle said...

SS is MIA? Ya' mean on a boat again, or jes' cyber MIA?

Bawgs, ya wrote:

"all the ritual, trappings, wars and prejudices his followers have brought since is what I have a problem with..."

...heh..yeah, I does too. The rituals however, He was in favor of --more or less since He followed 'em...doan fergit, that when ya read the OT an' see how God showed the Jews to set things up fer worship, it were very specific and rather "ritualistic".

Mara said...

Jesus was an ordinary man who was canonised to suit the Roman Emperor in about 350 AD.

His preachings and popularity were used as a control method.

If you look closely at the Catholic faith you will find other religions of that time rituals embedded in it.

The bread and wine followers of Apolonias of Tynan, The Virgin Mother Isis of Egypt, Mithiras (sp) birthday (logged in history) 25th December. Whats missing?

The Gnostics. Why? Read the Gnostic Gospels they portray Jesus as an ordinary man descended from King Davis - a peacemaker with charisman.

It all a lie.

Mara said...

whoops King David....

Aunty Belle said...

Mara....smile...read some history, chile'.

Jesus may not be God--as youse intimatin'---but he shure warn't an "ordinary man." He was a lunatic on the loose that the Romans justly executed for stirring up riots, he made wild claims and had delusions of grandeur. ("Before Abraham was I am")(You have heard it said that...but *I* say...)

Unless the claims are true, in which case he was who He said he was, and then mebbe we ought listen.

Mara said...

I have studied religion Ms Belle.

Aunty Belle said...

Mara, Sweet Puddin', a wise lass recently wrote:

"I'll find my way home, eventually. "

Mara said...

It wont be with the so called "Almighty" Im afraid.

I like facts ... and they just do not add up to me.

cheers

Jack K. said...

For an interesting take on the existence of Jesus. It is about a two hour film.

she said...

well, whatever the Pope says, we know who the minions of the dark force think is the "true" church.

did you ever hear of a "black tent revival"? how about a "black methodist conversion ceremony"? "black sunday school?"

no. its a black mass. grreherhahaha these guys know who they're up against.

now im off to be consumed by guilt and shame.
/NOT! grrherhahaha

Aunty Belle said...

C'mon Bawgs, Please do one more tag game--loved that baby photo! Youse tagged again on the Front Porch---

(an what about the 8 random thangs? Come see odd info facts on AB ....thangs over heah is too serious now...come laugh wif me)

Mara said...

Jack

Your thingo that is underlined doesnt work.

Aunty Belle said...

Why SHE-Pup, thas' a perfect point:

Ain't no black tent revival--indeed.