Friday, April 06, 2007

Jesus H. Chocolate!

Just in time for Easter: Your own… choc-o-late… Je-sus.

A life-sized chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ is giving some New York Christians a bellyache. The piece was set to be displayed during Holy Week, but complaints have forced the artist to put the Big Man In Chocolate (aka "My Sweet Lord") back into His wrapper.

Strange, a chocolate Jesus seems like such a natural thing for Easter. Catholics in particular don’t object to observing the holiday through idolatry, and they don’t seem to have any objection to chocolate, either. So why the fuss about the sculpture? It’s two great tastes that taste great together.

And, like a Communion wafer, He melts in your mouth, not in your hand.

Perhaps the protesters prefer hollow chocolate to solid?

Perhaps there would be less objection if dark chocolate, with all those healthy antioxidants, were used?

On the other hand, perhaps they are upset that Jesus is brown, rather than that Aryan "ideal" we see in typical depictions of Him? (“I don’t care what the white mon say, Jesus Christ is a black mon…”)

Perhaps some men, who know of women’s legendary weakness for chocolate, are afraid a naked man made of chocolate (complete with gender-appropriate appendage) will make them obsolete?

I can’t answer these questions. But I can proffer this thought: Perhaps New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin, when speaking of the return of “chocolate New Orleans” in the wake of apocalyptic Hurricane Katrina, was really alluding to this Second Coming of Christ in chocolate form(?)

18 comments:

Secret Rapture said...

lol
My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon, by my hand!
Read My Inaugural Address
My Site=http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman
Your jaw will drop!

Bird said...

give us this day, our daily chocolate.

i heard about this chocolate jesus stuff ...

all fundie christians should take to the street in protest. throw rocks.set fires.
it's outrage.

i am boycotting all things easter this year. instead, on the third day, i shall attend the ball game and hope the giants will rise up and beat the crap out of the dodgers.

(i might have a chocolate martini before the game - but no jesuses, choc or no.)

hosanna in the highest!

Pete Bogs said...

secret rapper - sounds like you have some delusions of grandeur of your own! lol... welcome

bird - just as I suspected, you are taking part in the war on Easter... you and your Nancy Pelosi/San Fran values are making us susceptible to the terrorists... for shame!

Anonymous said...

/bark bark bark

i burned down an embassy and put a fatwah on the artist.

boyed im going to my first braves game of the season for easter...it will be about 40 degrees can you believe that???? were playing the METS. grrrrr!

/howl

Infinitesimal said...

and on the fourth day, Infinitesimal went to the drugstore and bought eastercandy at half off

and on the eighth day, she went back and got it on clearance for 75% off.

Bogs, it's a clitfest at my blog.

I am pretty sure you could think up a good comment. It is just begging for your touch. ;-0

Infinitesimal said...

sorry, took down the clits

hey, tom waits had a song called chocolate jesus!

Pete Bogs said...

k9 - to celebrate the holiday, I sent an Easter ham to the embassies of all Middle Eastern countries here in the US...

contessa - you are indeed a cruel tease... Waits rules!

Anonymous said...

ON Tour Now: WMD

WMD has launched their first ever US Tour. All major US cities will be covered.

Come down to see us at any major US city. We will blow you the fuck up!

I'm Gay at the DC!

Anonymous said...

Hey. I just wanted to let everyone here know that I'm in the process of forming a new band. We are going to be called "The Nappy-Headed Hos".

We will need anyone that has any experience in consummating a child and then leaving it.

www.nappyheadedhos.com


Thanks

Anonymous said...

Just In!

Imus is headed to Rehab.

He will be ok.

Bird said...

bogs? what? no new post? it's almost tuesday (at least from where i sit) and you're lazing on the job. geesh bogs! - i need a distraction from the despair that is baseball.

i am so depressed -my beloved giants sucked at both of their opening series. easter sunday was joyless in SF. i've not checked the scores (see - i am that bereft) so i don't know what happened in atlanta, nor how the fish fared bogs.

Pete Bogs said...

anon - I don't listen to talk radio, though I heard about Imus... I think a suspension (which he got), a fine and a warning regarding future statements like that is fair... if he goes over the edge again, he should be tossed... based on that, Savage, Beck and others should have been tossed long a go...

bird - sorry to disappoint... been busy with the freelance writing, meaning extra $, outside the 9-5... back soon...

Anonymous said...

/bark bark bark

braves won sunday barely pulled it out in the ninth.

bogshond: check this out. i ordered a ganesh from them once...it was good!

/grrrrr

Anonymous said...

/bark bark bark

er...sorry. here it is the old fashioned way....http://www.chocolatedeities.com/deities.php

/gr

Anonymous said...

Imus got Punk'd!

Pete Bogs said...

anon - a chocolate Celtic cross would be most tasty!

Infinitesimal said...

how do you consummate a child?

Pete Bogs said...

infini - I think you need to ask a parent about that... ;-)