Friday, March 16, 2007

Breaking News: I'm Rich!

Rich with laughter, that is.

Below is one of those "I want to give you some money" junk emails I recieve almost daily; I imagine you get them, too. I've replaced some of the words with my own, however. See if you can spot the changes I've made. (All original grammatical errors have been retained.)

Try this yourself sometime! It's fun – a kind of Mad Libs for the email age.

From , johnson
Koumassi Abidjan Cote d'lvoire

Dearest one,

l know this shit will come as a surprising to you. I have a propose for you this project, however is not legitimate nor will I in any manner compel you to vomit against your will.Your talent, looks and charm pushed me to send you this piece of garbage, I am Johnson peter ,a 20years old eunich and the only spawn of my inbred parents Mr.and Mrs mika peters , My father was a highly reputable female genital mutilator in cote d' ivoire during his priesthood.

It is sad to say that he was stupid and passed away mysteriously in the toilet during one of his lengthy sessions on 12th.December 2005.Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been masterminded by a taco he ate at that time. But God knows that food is iffy!
My mother died when I was playing with a gun, and since then my father took me from behind.Before he made the dookie that lead to my misfortune (his death) He punched me and explained to me the reason why he will make this crap and also told me that he deposited a shoe box that contain his scrotum in a girls' school here in Ivory coast and that this ball sack is for a culinary purpose overseas .He also told me that the girls' school did not know the content of the box as body parts but do whatever's necessary to avoid the girls' school from knowing the contents as family jewels.

He gave me the knife that he used for the deposit of the box at the girls' school and other vital organs of his body, after his death l went to the girls' school and killed everyone for the penis pouch.Now l need your assistance to catapult this nutsack to your country for consumption as that has been my late father's twisted desire before his death.

Now permit me to ask these ridiculous questions:-

1. Can you giddily help me ship my dad's nuts?
2. What will you like to take as your bribe to assist me in this project?
3.Please, can you kindly arrange a letter of execution to enable me to die in your chimney after this beanbag might have lodge into your gullet?

lf this BS arouse your suspicion kindly contact me with the above email address. Thanks for your anticipation cooperation.
Best Regards
Johnson Peter

Hey, with a name like that you're asking to be mocked.

On a serious note, I do think the parties who keeping sending us all these phony solicitation emails deserve to have their reproductive organs removed and crammed down their throats. (I can dream, can't I?)

PS: Enjoy your St. Paddy's Day!


Paddys_Gal said...

LOL ! Very good, Pete !


Pete Bogs said...

pg - glad you liked!

Anonymous said...

/bark bark bark

grrrherherhahaha. wait. can a lib impugn the cultural practices of oppressed african scammers? what is it with all the circ posts bogshond?

im RICH beyotch!


Pete Bogs said...

anon - "I have many black friends," so it all evens out... lol

the scammers are probably sitting in an apartment in Cleveland somewhere, and couldn't even find Africa on a map...

Hellpig said...

hoist one down 4 me bogs ah shit have 2

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

grherhaha! you're right! in the aparment next door to the russians in the same bidness.

i bet you are in the PUB rot now. happy saint paddys day bogs!

what up hell.


Anonymous said...

pints all around in honor of st. paddy's day!

erin go braugh - or whateva.

here's to you bogs m'lad!

bottoms up!

Pete Bogs said...

cheers to all! a tip a pint to all BogSloggers...

Jack K. said...

Faith and begorra, lad, but you do have a wicked sense of humor.

A pint of Guiness all around, on you.

And, oh yes, drink sensibly.

That means one pint at a time.