Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Driving Under The Influence Of Money

If you’re like me, you’ve had those discussions wherein you proffer what you would do if you were rich and famous. I would get such and such a car, build a huge house, find a cure for cancer, pay off Third World debt so I don't have to listen to Bono anymore, etc.

One of the advantages of being rich is that you can pay other people to do things you'd rather not (or shouldn't) do. Have an enemy? Hire a hitman to rub them out. Dirty pool? Hire a cleaning service.

One thing that I would most certainly do as a wealthy person is, if not buy one, hire a limousine for all my evenings out.

I really enjoy driving most of the time, unless there’s traffic, and am not inclined to let someone else do so for me. Not that I'm an auto enthusiast – like those people who order special parts for their cars – I just enjoy the independence.

But when I’m doing something that involves drinking (I am, of course, an aficionado of a certain dark beverage) I’d take a damned limo if I could.

Which is why I'm at a loss to understand why the rich, famous and/or connected are racking up so many DUIs this year. Ray Liotta, Lane Garrison, Nicole Richie, Antonin Scalia's daughter, plus this guy, this guy and this guy have all joined the club recently.

Of course, 2006 had its share of high profile DUIs, including Patrick Kennedy, Mel Gibson, Paris Hilton and pretty much the entire cast of ABC's Lost.

Folks, enjoy your ride, just not after drinks. Going out for a wee nip? Summon the chauffer. Because you can. Put some of that money to good use, why don't you?

More people should think like me.

8 comments:

Paddys_Gal said...

Evidently money doesn't buy good judgment.

Jack K. said...

Well stated sir, well stated

Pete Bogs said...

pg - I think it makes people lose their judgment...

jack - knew I could count on your support!

Bird said...

now i need a drink.

ramooz fizzes, bloody maries, and mimosas all the way around.

Pete Bogs said...

bird - no FUI! (flying under the influence)

Jack K. said...

Pete, should you ever come up this way, our local brewpub brews a very tasty stout.

Pete Bogs said...

jack - noted... I used to be a strict Guinnite, but have really enjoyed some of the dark microbrews here and there... even some of the lighter ones, but shhh! don't tell anyone... ;-)

Bird said...

flap/flap/BONK

oopsies!

no, no, when i'm UI, i employ a pilot.