What a great time to be an American voter. We have African-American, Hispanic and female presidential candidates, and unlike previous bids for the office by these demographics, some of the current contenders actually have a shot at it.
Hopefully, whomever comes second in the Democratic primaries (still quite some time away) will be willing to run as another's VP. Oh, did I forget to mention these candidates were all Democrats? My bad!
What do Republicants have to offer so far? Surprise! A bunch of boring old white guys.
The top names currently being bandied around as our possible next president – again, things change, and we’re still way early in the process – are: Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama on the left, and John McCain and Rudolph Giuliani on the right.
All four of these candidates face significant hurdles at the polls, some from within their own parties.
Hillary’s first and foremost problem is her last name. Republicants hate all things Clinton. Hell, they don’t even dig funkmeister George Clinton.
The all-important religious right base of the Republicant Party has already said they won’t support gay civil union-tolerating McCain, and are in fact praying to God that we don’t "get stuck with him" as our president. Personally, I liked McCain until he started pandering to those zealots, and supported an escalation of American involvement in Iraq.
Obama has an unfortunate middle name that reminds people of Iraq’s now-dead dictator, Saddam Hussein. If “Barry” is smart, he will try to link his name to the late, great King Hussein of Jordan, who was a moderate Muslim and good friend to the West. Or maybe he should just stay away from the Muslim thing altogether.
Yes, Obama’s father was a Muslim. But while Hillary chose to be a Clinton, Barack did not choose his “troublesome” attributes (some people might also add his race to those). Still, my guess is the right will focus on those to the complete exclusion of anything good he might have to say, or to offer as a leader. And they will conveniently leave out that the former atheist is actually a Christian. (Religion isn’t genetic, folks.)
Northern liberal Republicant Rudy Giuliani doesn’t seem likely to get the crucial religious right vote either, for some of the same reasons as McCain. He presents a problem for Republicant voters overall because he is essentially the GOP version of Bill Clinton. Yup. Kind of slippery, with questionable business dealings and an overactive libido (many have forgotten the front page affair scandal in which he was embroiled before certain terrorist attacks occurred in NYC).
Point is, how can good Republicants vote for a man like that? It would be, well, kind of hypocritical.
There are other candidates, too, such as Democrat John Edwards, Democrat Bill Richardson and Republicant Mitt Romney, but the momentum doesn’t seem to be with them just yet. Or maybe they just don't have the juicy baggage of those other candidates. We shall see.
Some have said the November 2006 elections represent the beginning of a two-year "time out" for Republicants; a punishment from voters for straying too much from their core values. We shall see about that as well. One thing is for sure – if they regain a majority in 2008 and start doing all the same shit over, they’ll be right back out the door. That's something both parties could stand to remember.