Most of us spend far too much time inching along streets and highways waiting to see what turns out to be a car with a dented fender, or a speeder that’s been pulled over. Of course, traffic delays are often caused by serious accidents.
But sometimes those serious accidents are either in the median or even on the opposite side of the highway. Meaning they are not an obstruction, but merely a source of curiosity.
For this I'm late to work?
I’m talking about the “visual delay” here, people; the most unnecessary waste of time ever borne of man. And I’ve got a plan on how to deal with this nuisance: Visual Delay Citations (aka VDCs).
What I’m suggesting is having police at accident sites slapping these “tickets” (of nominal value – maybe $5 a pop) onto the cars of everyone who is delaying the progress of the world because the darker side of their nature compels them to gawk at the wreckage and/or carnage.
The catch is the VDCs are some kind of magnetic capsule that can’t be removed by the car’s owner. They can only be removed by an authorized official – the one who you’ll first have to give $5.
After 30 days on the car the capsules explode and permanently ruin the paint job. Like those exploding ink packs identify bank robbers, these will identify the non-payers.
I’ll get VDCs. You’ll get them. Everyone will get them – no exceptions. We’ll hate it, but hopefully we’ll all grow tired of getting them and get the idea that it’s time to get our asses moving!