Sunday, October 08, 2006

That's The Ticket: A Cure For Rubbernecking

Most of us spend far too much time inching along streets and highways waiting to see what turns out to be a car with a dented fender, or a speeder that’s been pulled over. Of course, traffic delays are often caused by serious accidents.

But sometimes those serious accidents are either in the median or even on the opposite side of the highway. Meaning they are not an obstruction, but merely a source of curiosity.

For this I'm late to work?

I’m talking about the “visual delay” here, people; the most unnecessary waste of time ever borne of man. And I’ve got a plan on how to deal with this nuisance: Visual Delay Citations (aka VDCs).

What I’m suggesting is having police at accident sites slapping these “tickets” (of nominal value – maybe $5 a pop) onto the cars of everyone who is delaying the progress of the world because the darker side of their nature compels them to gawk at the wreckage and/or carnage.

The catch is the VDCs are some kind of magnetic capsule that can’t be removed by the car’s owner. They can only be removed by an authorized official – the one who you’ll first have to give $5.

After 30 days on the car the capsules explode and permanently ruin the paint job. Like those exploding ink packs identify bank robbers, these will identify the non-payers.

I’ll get VDCs. You’ll get them. Everyone will get them – no exceptions. We’ll hate it, but hopefully we’ll all grow tired of getting them and get the idea that it’s time to get our asses moving!

22 comments:

Sanford B. Hines said...

The pigs dont have time to do this. They are busy pulling people over for speeding on hourly basis. Pigs dont seem to want to obey traffic law also. How often have you seen any pigs breaking traffic law. Pigs break traffic lawws just like Bush breaks American Crime law. He does not obey law in the same country he lives in. Why is this? Will Bush become King of US? I believer Bush is in a state of deniel. The country of US will be better when Bush is not president.

Thanks you?

Pete Bogs said...

sanford - you need to use your own blog as your pulpit... you are preaching to the converted, but on a tangent as always...

Sanford B. Hines said...

I dont know what that means.

The Flabbergasted Heathen said...

Exploding packets will certainly cause a lawsuit...

Bird said...

bogs,
what have you done to deserve so much attention from sanford?

i sometimes think traffic slows near an accident not because of gawkers, but because we slow down on reflex - hoping nothing will happen to us, and perhaps as a courtesy to those caught on the side of the road, who might otherwise be bedeviled by rip-roarin' traffic. who knows who might dart out in a panic?

but then, i only think that in rare moments when i'm wearing my rosy-colored glasses and i've not been able to locate them of late.

so, let's just run the dang gawkers down.

Blue said...

This is a great Idea - I rarely slow down to see what is going on at an accident site, but that is usually due to the fact that I hate tourists at the scene of a strangers pain.

Jack K. said...

I agree with bird. Striking anyone at the scene, whether a particpant in the accident or working it, is bad form.

What better way to get a new paint job than to be hit by VDC and then suing the issuing authority.

I'm all for it. I can hardly wait to consult some of my attorney friends. I can just imagine the feeding frenzy among them.

OK, so I lied about attorney friends. Would you believe Representative friend? snerk, snorx, giggle.

btw, there is a psychological concept concerning behavior change--ignore it and it will tend to be extinguished. Just a thought.

Pete Bogs said...

flab - I'm not talking Hiroshima here... basically, the pack would burst and make a mess...

bird - I cannot answer your first question, because I dunno!

as for giving rubberneckers the benefit of the doubt, sometimes the median is very deep and the accident vehicles are well away from the road... other times they are on the shoulder... if I've been waiting long I sometimes start honking and gesturing like a madman once I see there is no reason to be going so slow... "There's nothing to see here, you assholes, so get moving!!!"

lol... road rage sometimes can't be helped...

blue - thanks... let's get this going on an international level!

Pete Bogs said...

jack - I agree to an extent, but I think you're giving these folks too much credit... they seem not so much worried about the safety of others as fascinated with the misfortunes of others...

Aunty Belle said...

Seems real bad in foridy, Bawgs, doan it?? But the 5 spot is fine idea.

HELL PIG, whar' is ya??????

CROAK said...

I think this is a time for a lesson. A lesson to realise that it is ok to be:
a Late
b slow
c miss an appointment
d messed up by the time factor
e fooled by traffic delays of any kind
f sitting thinking in a vehicle.


What I am trying to say is;
When there are delays...maybe we need to know nothing...ie nothing is that important that we need to ge
a Hot under the collar
b Angry to the point of destraction
c Fed up with the world
d Thinking we are more important than anything/anyone else in the world.

It is a time to learn... dah ha dahh dee da... A time for love a time of hate...la de dah...
etc...

see?

Pete Bogs said...

croak - you lost me... but let's not make excuses for rubbernecking bastards... no excuses, just nooses for those necks! I consider those times waiting for NOTHING as unlawful detention...

aunt b - yup, it's bad...

Hellpig said...

Aunty B I am in Alaska until the 20th...10 days and a wake up..i only get brief moments of free time

Seattle is famous for this topic traffic backs up for miles at any little occurance, friggin gawkers.

The Flabbergasted Heathen said...

Yeah Bogs, but someone would end up walking beside the vehicle, it would blow, and ruin their $4000 Prada bag or something like that...

Pete Bogs said...

flab - their argument would be with the vehicle owner... the deadbeat who failed to pay up...

Pete Bogs said...

PS: I think the capsules would be brightly colored, so people could notice and steer clear of them... also, in the last moments before bursting they could emit a beeping (warning) sound... this plan gets better all the time...

Sanford B. Hines said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sanford B. Hines said...

Bogs, you ever thought about posting your Blog address around the internet? I noticed that you show up #1 on google search with "bogsblog".

Pete Bogs said...

sanford - how would I go about that?

Sanford B. Hines said...

Mass Email your webpage address using zombie computers. You could email them to many govenmental websites, republican blogs, media sites, media webpages, newspapers, writers.... and so on. Your Blog could get so big!

I was just kidding about using zombie computers.

The Flabbergasted Heathen said...

Ok, the beeping would work.What about the hearing impaired? Flashing light too? Ultrasonic whistle for seeing eye dogs?

Damn, I want me a cut of this!

Pete Bogs said...

flab - lol... the bright color is for the hearing impaired... neon green I'm thinking, so it can even be seen at night...