"Saudi Arabia is a wonderful country... for me to POOP ON!!!" - Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
From the people who brought you most of the 9/11 hijackers comes an exciting new chapter in law enforcement: No dogs (or cats) allowed.
The religious police of Saudi Arabia, aka the Muttawa (which must mean "mutt-haters"), are now banning the sale of dogs and cats in parts of the kingdom. Both animals have been deemed too “Western,” and therefore un-Islamic. (Psst! We have Muslims over here, too.)
There, dogs are also considered dirty animals. As are pigs. But I’d like to point something out to people who believe such things: All animals are actually pretty dirty. They’re animals! And some people aren’t so clean, come to think of it.
Interestingly, according to Islamic beliefs, the prophet Mohammed himself enjoyed cats, and was once quoted as saying, “Mmm, tastes just like chicken.”
I kid. Mohammed never said that. (No riots, please? Now come on, people!) No, that would have been more like something Buddha would say. Ba-dum-bum!
But this new law is no joke. It means man’s best friend is no friend to Saudis. That’s unfortunate, too, because they are wonderful animals. And cats, well, they’re cats. That doesn’t mean anyone should be prevented from taking one into their home.
Still, I think the Saudis’ loss is the animals’ gain. The latter may have dodged a bullet, figuratively and literally. I mean, if they chop off a person’s hands for stealing, what would they do to a pet for soiling a prayer rug???
Perhaps the most consequential impact of this law is that future generations of Saudis may never get the chance to affect a “baby-talk” voice and say things like, “You’re a good boy! Yes you ARE! Daddy wuvs you SO much! Mmm-mmm!”
That’s just not right.