Today I am bowing to peer pressure (and some personal pressure) and writing a sex-themed post - possibly the first of many. We shall see. I like to keep things interesting around here, with a few surprises now and then.
Ladies first. That’s right. I won’t have any of this “some women rarely have orgasms or have never had one” on my watch.
Men (or women), before you get an ounce of personal pleasure, put in the time – however long it takes, and however numb your mouth gets – to ensure that the physical transaction includes a climax for her, whether during foreplay and/or also later, when your payday comes.
It’s said many women don’t achieve orgasm from the act; they can’t blame men for that, no matter how inclined they may be to do so. We don’t have any more control over women’s physiology (and psychology) than they do.
But this “satisfaction guaranteed” policy will be most appreciated by your partner, and should forever dispel any notion that you care only about your own pleasure (should such a misconception exist).
There are risks, as I hinted at before. You may lose some sensation in your mouth, but this should return with time. You also need a strong skull, just in case it gets trapped in the ever-tightening vice grip of her legs.
I get the impression there are some men that really don’t know how to "eat at the 'Y'," and I must say I don’t get that. But just in case it’s true, here are some pointers...
Don’t just go at it willy-nilly. Munch like you’ve got a purpose; you do – making her happy. And keep your eyes and ears open for suggestions of "more," "slower," "faster," "not so hard," "a little higher," etc. (Note: They're not always verbal.)
Notice that there are several parts down there – some parts have several sub-parts – and most deserve some level of attention (it’s your job to discern what those levels are) during mouth whoopee.
Realize that oral sex doesn’t just involve your mouth but often your fingers and/or hands at the same time. Knead and penetrate. (Remember that what’s in front of you is not a toy, and don’t start putting body parts and foreign objects in places unless she’s cool with it.)
Remember that your tongue is an appendage that can be used to do many of the same things your other appendages do; unlike what the folks told you, it’s not always impolite to stick out your tongue. (It’s obviously not always impolite to chew with your mouth open, either.)
And unless she’s sitting up and you’re kneeling down, for God’s sake don’t attempt a dive head-on. Instead, if she’s lying flat, try this: Lean on one elbow, with her body running underneath that arm, so your body is essentially across her mid-section. Then lean forward and go to town.
You'll find you have more flexibility and fewer obstructions for your hands this way. You’ll also find that your neck – which can tilt much farther forward than it can backward – and your jaw won’t hurt so damn much afterwards. Putting a pillow under her can also facilitate your efforts.
If you’re doing this right, your head will be facing the foot of the bed, and may even be close to upside-down at some points (don’t worry, you shouldn’t get lightheaded in the amount of time it takes to get where you’re going).
The truest indication of whether you’re doing it right is when all but her shoulders and heels rise up in the air, and the neighbors call the police about all that “racket” you’re making.
After all this, when she's come back down to earth, continue on with the feature presentation knowing she's primed and probably already halfway to another climax.
Ladies, we’ll do all the mouth-work while you sit back an enjoy it. But you can help with good hygiene and grooming habits. Cunniliciousness is important to getting what you want out of a man sexually. (And having our noses tickled can really distract us from our duties. So can having to keep dental floss next to the bed.)
And, very importantly, don’t ever fake a damned thing – you’re only robbing yourself. If you don't have an orgasm from having these things done to you, I don't know what to say. Nonorgasmic (NO) people do exist.
But keep trying. Men, step up to that challenge. By working together, we can put an end to NO in our lifetime!