Monday, August 07, 2006

A Get-Well Letter To Fidel

(Translated from the Spanish)

Dear Fidel,

So sorry to hear about your surgery of the intestines. I imagine bleeding from the ass wasn’t much fun for you. Still, it must have been a nice change to have something pouring out of a part of you that wasn’t your mouth. I hope your posturing, shouting and podium-pounding abilities have not been permanently affected by your condition.

You know I am wondering now if you maybe hurt your intestines when you tripped and fell on live TV that time? I tried not to laugh, but I could not help myself. Sorry, comrade. You reminded me of the American Chevy Chaser (sic) on the decadent Saturday Nights (sic) Live television program, who liked to trip like clumsy Gerald Ford. Yes, I once accidentally picked up an illegal and forbidden satellite feed of American TV, but I do not think it corrupted me.

In case you are wondering about the postmark, I am now living in Miami for 10 years. I came here in a boat that used to be my living room sofa where my entire family slept. It is not much different from Havana in Miami, as I can remember, but there are fewer burros on the streets here. I can still get a decent order of platanos on the corner, so that is nice. I enjoy listening to your daughter on the radio. She is very smart, so I think she must take after her mother.


But the thing I like best about Miami, Fidel, is that I no longer have to live under your sorry, bleeding ass!

Looking forward to enjoying a nice cigar in Cuba once again after you’re dead,

Javier (surname redacted)

6 comments:

Ben said...

Hi Pete

Just read all your posts back to July 28th. Which means I haven't been here for a while. Also means I have once more enjoyed the visit.

BTW: Congratulations on one year in blogworld. How about a Cuban cigar?

Pete Bogs said...

Ben - thanks for stopping in... always a pleasure... yes, let us light up a Cuban in defiance of my country's ongoing embargo of Cuban goods... the people here want to open up relations and trade with Cuba; only our government objects...

Mr Q said...

Congrats on the anniversary as well. If you light one up, let it be a Vegas Robaina. Hey Bogs, thanks for making me go chase the meaning of (sic). I learned something new and not easy to find on the net.

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

what? and take away the underground joy of contraband goods?

/grrrrrrr

Pete Bogs said...

q - my pleasure... (sic) is basically, "I know this is a mistake, but it's not mine"

k9 - there is indeed some pleasure in forbidden fruit, of course...

Paddys_Gal said...

Note to self : Do not read BogsBlog while eating popcorn.

That was hilarious !