Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Inside The Iran Incentives

Several Western countries, including the US, have put together an incentive package to offer Iran in exchange for that country curtailing its nuclear ambitions. The details are here.

So far the Iranians like what they see, but given their track record we have no reason to ululate just yet.

Some proposals which were rejected by the participating countries before the final draft was submitted are listed here:

· Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was to be supplied with a new Lexus, outfitted with complete gold package, moonroof, leather seating and XM satellite radio, every year for the remainder of his presidency.

· Kelly Clarkson was to agree to give a special performance at Ahmadinejad’s kid’s birthday party.

· Ahmadinejad was to be told in advance how the upcoming seasons of 24, Lost, Desperate Housewives and his other favorite shows will end.

· The Iranian people were to be given an unlimited supply of American blue jeans, Elvis Presley records, cigarettes, chocolates and stockings.

· The US was to facilitate the handover of former US President Jimmy Carter to Iran for trial on charges of aiding the late Shah.

· Alternately, Iran was to be given an amount equal to all the profits - adjusted for interest and inflation - from Georgia peanuts sold worldwide during President Carter’s term of office.

· All Texas oil operations were to be shut down and outsourced to... Iran!

· A Flock Of Seagulls were to allow unlicensed use of “I Ran” by the country as its new national anthem, because that song is way cool.

· Iran was to be allowed to annex the neighboring country of Iraq, provided they “keep those crazy muthas, err, mullahs in line.”

· President Bush was to agree to stand before the UN and say that Ahmadinejad is "the man!"

· The iconic Yankee Stadium was to be renamed "Alltel Wireless Presents Ayatollah Khomeini Memorial Field."

It's still unclear why these concessions were rejected, though there is speculation that the US opposed having to bear such a large portion of the burden.


Jack K. said...

Would that tariff be on top of the current debt?


Pete Bogs said...

jack - they didn't get that far into the details of the proposal...

Hellpig said...

our current debt is a good thing that means people are buying american,former clinton advisor layed it out better then i can,in short form he said it was a good thing

talkytalk said...

Maybe if the USA didn't have 'nuclear ambitions' might be a good starting point. Set a good example and all that. NO?

Pete Bogs said...

TT - I agree... it's hypocritical fpr nuclear countries to try and stop other countries from getting the technology... but in this case it's smart... militant Islamic country with nukes? BAD idea!

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

funny post. leave the cubicle and go directly over to the daily show!


Jack K. said...

Speaking (barking) of the daily show, did you catch the 666 show?

What a blast.

Bird said...

yeah jack, i caught the 666 show - hahahaha - logical numerical sequence.

also loved the commentary on the anti-gay marriage amendment. love that phrasing over the "defense of marriage" amendment. what horse-puckey!

infinitesimal said...

FLOCK OF SEAGULLS...... I.....Ran!!!


Good one!!!!!!

It's not really about nukes, I think it's about all the oil they have underneath them.

I'm gonna let the little bitch out to gather some info on that...

Pete Bogs said...

I don't have cable, so I rarely see The Daily Show... I hear about it on the web, mostly...

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