Thursday, June 29, 2006

The Great Grilled Cheese Conspiracy

There is discrimination written right into the menus of dining establishments across America, and I'm not going to stand for it anymore.

I'm talking about what I call the "Great Grilled Cheese Conspiracy."


The aforementioned establishments have conspired to keep grilled cheese sandwiches out of the hands of adults, instead reserving them for kids 12 and under. I think these dastardly, discriminatory dining dictates are crap.

Look for grilled cheese on a menu, and if it's there at all, it's under a notice reading "Ages 12 And Under Only, Please." Well, since you said "please," I'll just say this... "Hell no!"

I'm obviously not talking about "fine" dining establishments here, but more reasonably priced fare. I'm not a fancy eater. Obviously.


Who decided grilled cheese was a meal not suitable for adults? As a kid I never touched the stuff; I only acquired the taste as an adult.
I suspect the restriction is due to the fact it's cheap and they want to make more money off adults, personal tastes be damned.

Yeah, you can ask them to make an exception for you (my diet is somewhat limited), but if they're willing to do so they'll at least make you feel ridiculous first.

There are some notable exceptions to the discrimination policy, and they are to be commended. But they are rare. I seek to change that with the following declaration:

I demand the right to enjoy greasy, melted cheese on bread, whether it be pizza, a quesadilla or plain old grilled cheese, in any applicable dining establishment I wish, unfettered by any arbitrary ageist restrictions or attitudes. I just like the stuff, ok?

American restaurateurs, you have been put on notice. Don't make me fake a choking incident and have to sue your asses.

12 comments:

Jenni said...

I heart grilled cheese. However, I cannot eat bread, so I heart goat cheese on flowerless sprouted tortillas with blackbeans and guac.

See? You just have to dress it up a tad, make it sound fancy and they'll serve it to you!

Mmmmmmm....

Pete Bogs said...

ah, so go "nouveau" with the grilled cheese, then? hmm... it's a thought...

I love bread!!! Celiac or Atkins? sorry, NOMB...

Bird said...

oh bogs, bogs, bogs,

i worry about you so.

first you disclose you eat those wretched, small, microwaveable meals for lunch and now you share your fondness for grilled cheese sandwiches (at least i hope the sandwich is not made of white bread).

now i must know, when you're not at work, or lurking in the child's section of your local diner's menu, do you eat, um, er, real food? freshly made?

btw - i had a pint of beer last night at o'neil's irish pub and thought of you.

what do you think of stella beer? i'm not much of beer drinker (it's a new skill i'm picking up).

Pete Bogs said...

bird - portable microwave meals are about the only thing practical for a guy who takes a half-hour lunch, and who has a 90-minute drive to work... it's a long story... I actually take hummus quite a bit, and that's pure veggie goodness... cheese and bread happen to be my weaknesses... I am a vegetarian but will likely never go vegan... I am eating cheese as I type this, btw... Kerry Gold Dubliner... mmm...

Stella has some class, as it's a Belgian beer... very popular... but it's too light for me... those beers tend to taste "pissy" to me... I like stouts and porters...

Bird said...

oh dear god, i drank two pints of piss.

reccomend a light (relatively speaking) porter or stout (now there's an oxymoron, he, a light stout - hah!)and i'll give it go next time i'm at o'neil's.

anonymous said...

There is no conspiracy why are you even suggesting such a thing

*shiftyeyes*

Pete Bogs said...

bird - the stouts I know are all dark and hearty in flavor... Guinness, Murphy's, Beamish... there is an interesting one that has chocolate overtones - Young's Double Chocolate Stout... mmm... what I'd recommend, if you're going from a yellow beer, is either Harp or Smithwick's (a tasty amber, pronounced "Smit-icks") impress the bartender with that one!

anon - I am onto you...

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

bogshond! looks like a dream girl for you has manifested! a veggie lover that "hearts" grilled cheese? howwwwwwwwwwwwwwl!

c'mon bogs, you can get a grilled cheese! it'll just cost ya 14.95

hey bro just another right you lost under W!

howlllllllllllll
its friday. dont mean dick to me cause K9's work aint neva done.
/grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Jenni said...

Actually, neither. I have RA and it makes my joint pain worse when I eat it...more like an allergy but not the Celiac reaction.

It's odd, and I love pizza so it's either yummy cheesy marinara soaked bread, or being able to walk and turn door knobs like a normal person. So, I choose b)!

Hellpig said...

isnt cheese against the vegetarian code or something

Pete Bogs said...

hell - it's again the vegan code, not the vegetarian code... we eat dairy, but not meat... see my comment above...

Pete Bogs said...

*against...