Mother’s Day is over, and the untenable Pete Bogs is back, full of piss and vinegar!
I’ve decided to leave the topic of whether 21 is a reasonable drinking age for another post. I could write a huge book on it, but the topic so riles me, I’d probably use the book to whack people to death. That’s no way to start a Monday.
However, this ID/proof/carding shit is getting waaay out of hand.
Alcohol-related restrictions vary from state to state, but most have one element in common: They're really stupid.
Tennessee is leaning toward making ID checks mandatory for all retail beer sales. I’ll set aside the weirdness of it being only beer (higher-in-alcohol-content liquor would oddly be exempt) and only through stores and not, say, a restaurant that serves beer, and focus on the main issue here.
I go into stores and see signs like, “If you don’t look 60, please have your ID ready for alcohol or tobacco purchases.” The only thing I’m going to have ready for the clerk in that store is a bad attitude with a big helping of “Fuck you!” if the subject of my ID comes up.
Locally, the drinking age is 21; the minimum age for buying tobacco is 18. It is my honest feeling that once you reach legal age people should get off your back and let you at what you’ve been denied for so long.
Let’s say you have a youthful look about you; if you’ve just turned legal, it’s understandable you may be required to provide ID. But there should not be a decades-long transition period where you have to humor the establishment and continue to show your ID.
This ridiculous practice also comes up when purchasing tickets for an R-rated movie or even a lottery ticket. (These movies and lottery tickets killed over 100,000 young people in the US alone last year, right? RIGHT?) Pathetic.
So there’s the “carding senior citizens” thing, which is absurd, but the “readiness” aspect is equally asinine. Have my ID ready when I get to the counter? How long does it take to get my license out of my immense pocket-sized wallet?
If it’s me you’re dealing with, you’ll have to wait a second, chief. In the meantime, perhaps you can put your thumb up your ass.
I’ve seen incidents in which customers and clerks have gotten into arguments over this. The prevailing attitude seems to be, “Don’t give the clerks a hard time about doing their jobs.” Hey, buddy, we’d all like to have hassle-free lives.
If you ask something ridiculous of me – even as part of your job – you’re going to hear about it. So have your "thick skin" ready when I get to the counter, ok? (Maybe I'll wear a t-shirt like that so they know what to expect.)
If working people take issue with my policy, I suggest they take it up with the assholes in their state governments and/or the assholes at MADD. (Yes, them too, and I stand by that assessment. These institutions believe any law limiting access to alcohol, no matter how nonsensical, is a good one.)
Bottom line, if you want to see my ID you’re going to have to wait. And my four-pack of Guinness Draught pint cans? Hand it over, and be quick about it, lest I box your impudent ears!