Tuesday, May 16, 2006

A Message To Mr. Al E. Gator: Bite Me!

They say that by spending time around “misunderstood” animals a lot of your fears and misconceptions will evaporate. They are quite wrong!

I never feared or much thought about alligators until I spent several days at a gator park taping a TV show.

Let me tell you, these things are dragons without the bad breath. They hiss loudly and growl like lions. There’s nothing like having a 13-foot lizard with sharp teeth stare you down.

Every lake, pond and river in Florida has probably at least one of them, which is why I only swim in the Gulf (where the sharks are). And I know that the “odds of being attacked by a gator are blah blah blah,” but that’s meaningless to the several people who were killed by gators here this week.

So I’m putting gators on alert: Just because I’m a vegetarian and generally compassionate toward living things doesn’t mean I won’t run your scaly, spiny ass over with my car if I see you coming my way.

And if I’m not fast enough to make you choke on my exhaust, it doesn’t mean you won’t choke on me going down.

PS: This week's Fragmentia 13 is finally up.

13 comments:

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

growing up in CenFla we used to have "gator races" where they'd put a bunch of baby caimans in one end of the pool and put all the kids on the other end ready to swim and race down to get a gator. there would be about 10 kids and maybe 3 or 4 gators.

whatdoyathink happened to the gators when they grew up? that's right, they're living in the lake behind you. gators gone wild is a people problem. as usual.

/grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Aunty Belle said...

Hee hee..I'se wif ya Bawgs...it ain't no nevermind if the odds is one in a thousand when youse the thousand!!

Pete Bogs said...

the good news is, we're starting to fight back! LOL

Gator Shot

the bad news is, this woman got a ticket(!)

Bird said...

perhaps i'd best cross florida off my "go see" list.

don't want to tangle with no gators.

bad enough dealing with banana slugs out here in california.

hah!

Pete Bogs said...

bird - fine, stay out there with your earthquakes and mudslides and smog! LOL...

seriously, just stay out of fresh water and keep your eyes open and you'll be fine...

Hellpig said...

why don't they just open hunting season on them to curb the population?...Gator is good eats

Pete Bogs said...

hell - they do limited hunts each year... only a few licenses are given and hunters have to participate in a lottery for them... funny I would know this stuff...

I had gator tail 20 years ago... tough, and with very little taste... I couldn't see what the fuss was about, and nowadays I don't eat lizards...

Bird said...

bogs, bogs, bogs -
you are really messing with my routine.

your daily posts are now consistently up AFTER i do my morning fly-by.

that new job of yours must surely be interferring with the far more important work of blogging.

damn - i hate when that happens.

flap/flap/swoosh!

Hellpig said...

I heard a woman shot a gator four times while crawling through her doggie door then the police charged her for hunting without a license.

Pete Bogs said...

bird - exactly right... the new job has me posting at all kinds of odd hours... it's not the "morning paper" anymore...

Pete Bogs said...

hell - my link above goes to that story... what a bunch of crap!!!

CROAK said...

When we heard down here that they were going to entrap a man-eating alligator my immediate thought was "What is wrong with eating alligator? Gee the Americans are really over the top now"..but you have set me right Pete. Ah me.

Pete Bogs said...

croak - too tough and chewy, I'd say... lol