Friday, March 10, 2006

Sisterhood Of The Ill-Fitting Pants

We must put a stop to these cheeky, smart-assed, wisecracking teenaged girls!

It’s uncharacteristic for me, a vocal opponent of the dress code during my high school days, to be on this side of the argument. But it's for everyone's good that I say hip-huggers and midriff-baring shirts must go!

There are other non-uptight people who feel this way, too; it's not just me.

I’m not saying I believe this manner of undress is inherently indecent. The human body is something my culture is way too uptight about.

The indecent part is 16-year-old girls walking about with their colorful dainties visible to the extent that a passerby can read the brand name and size.

Or, rather, me seeing that is the indecent part. If I were still Catholic, I’d have to go to confession for coveting and other mind-crimes daily.


Why don't I just look away? Well, because they’re everywhere, so no matter where I look... And because these underthings are designed to be appealing.

I blame society. Anyone else but myself.

I’d never suggest there should be a dress code enforced by law, as was once proposed in Louisiana. Prudently, the state’s legislature laughed off the idea. They weren’t ready to deputize a “fashion police” force, deciding instead to leave that to women’s magazines and gay men’s TV shows.

What I suggest is that young women especially move on to the next fashion paradigm with haste. Say, some very long shirts. A nice tucked-in look, perhaps. High-riding pants.

There’s nothing worse than catching a “plumber’s crack,” only to have said tradesperson turn and reveal herself to be a 16-year-old coed. OK, getting caught catching one is worse.

These young women always hastily and, might I add, fruit-of-the-loom-lessly try to adjust their britches. Butt, or rather, but, you can’t cover up for long when the waistline of your pants is an inch above the crotch.

And though both the "crack of Dawn" showing and viewing may have been unintentional, Dawn always has a dirty look for you. What, did you not know your size when you bought your jeans? Did that store have mirrors? Did someone besides yourself dress you today?

Here's a suggestion: Next time you're trying on a pair of pants, turn away from the mirror(s), squat down and then look back at the mirror(s). See? See there? It's you, it's not me, ok?

I’d rather not have to deal with this at all.

Which is why I say, next fashion thing, please present yourself ASAP. Print and electronic media, I’m looking to you to set the tone for our influential youth. You can make them think they're fat, so why not this? Let it be known – if your shirt’s not long or tucked in, or if your pants don't reach your navel, you ain't the shiznit.

In the meantime, I suggest young women in particular take a good close look at what they’re wearing, lest some unsavory character should beat them to it.

24 comments:

Paddys_Gal said...

I never understood why Monica Lewinsky shared the fact that she lifted up the back of her suit jacket to show Bill the top of her thong extending above the waistband of her slacks- as if that was a good thing...

I think lo-rise jeans can be flattering to some women - it depends on how low they are, the style of top worn with them, and most importantly, one's choice of underwear.
Another option- when in doubt, go without.

Pete Bogs said...

pg - yeah, Monica must have been "hotter" then than when we got to know her... lol

Bird said...

Hahaha! I woke up in a foul mood this morning, angry at the world and melancholy all at the same time. Butt gee Bogs, you've given me a new perspective on the day!

Having an appreciation of the human anatomy regardess of gender, I find this fashion disturbing - at times. Other times, I find it quite delightful. And I don't care if I'm caught staring - you hang it out for me to see - what the heck do you expect? Same rule applies to busoms and cleavage. Trust me here guys - women expose their cleavage fully knowing the effect it will create - when I expose - I'm definately using a "strategy." (Maybe these young women just haven't been taught the strategy properly by their mothers...hmmm...)

But I am not sure what possesses young women to wear their pants so low on a regular basis and in the work or academic envrionment - in my classes, i see butt crack after butt crack as i move about the classroom - and girls, please, stop getting those damn tats that sprawl across your lower back - once you've seen one butterfly just above the butt, you've seen 'em all. I have nothing against tats (have one myself), but I abhor the cliche, the run-of-the-mill, the trend tats.

i will confess that i don't mind the butt expose when i'm out and about at a park or some other casual environment and the butt-crack is smooth, sweet, and lacks cellulite. But girls, i have seen some BUTT-ugly butt crack. eck! hide that stuff, would ya? it isn't any more attractive than the fleshy, flubbering butt crack of the middle-aged plumber who fixed my garbage disposal last month (of course, i didn't mind at all the butt-crack of his mucular, toned, buff twenty-year old assistant).

lecherously yours,
Bird (yeah guys, women are lusty and lecherous too!)

Pete Bogs said...

I don't mind the adult women, bird, though it makes my heart race uncomfortably... it's the built-in guilt reflex that goes with viewing the "minor" crowd that unsettles me... I would rather just have the distraction removed altogether... not that anyone will heed this or any other of my blogs' words...

I agree that it's hung out to be seen, but I think some of the exhibitionists get perturbed when the "wrong people" see it; e.g. not THAT cute guy but that OTHER guy... hey, I can't help seeing something that's in public view!

glad I could bring some, um, rosiness to your cheeks today!

Aunty Belle said...

Bawgs,
youse on the money here, darlin.'

We will leave adult women to theyselves on this fashion matter, but the young girls is sure ill served by this "fashion."

One good report: Nordstrom's acted when it received a letter from 13 year old asking why she could not find stylish fashions for her age group, only junior hooker fashion. They brough the young lady in for a consult and now have added stylish but modest clothes for teens---

I left you a note back at Troika---I'm days behind in mah reading.....come see me some time.
Aunty Belle

Bushmaster said...

I never understood the Monica Lewinsky thong either. Why?

Pete Bogs said...

nor the cigar for that matter...

Hellpig said...

I will take the otherside(what else is new)I believe it is the poor parenting that allows young girls to dress provocatively.Th ey are just brought up lacking morals or proper values,Boys too.

Pete Bogs said...

I'm not finger-pointer... I tend to be more of a libertine than anything else... however, I'm surprised that some young women get out of the house with that stuff on... though I've heard about the old "layering" trick of wearing some clothes over the provocative ones, then leaving them in the car once they reach their destination... still, I do see some of these mooners out with their folks, too...

Bird said...

Ah, Pig, Pig, Pig,
I don't know why I bother with you. But for some reason, I do (must be that dashing photo of you which accompanies all your comments).

It's the parents? Well, yes. But before you jump too harshly down their throats, let's keep in mind how much parents have to contend with these days - in terms of the media onslought their teens are exposed to (even if the parents control the tv and the computer at home, their teens are out and moving through the world). And, I know from my experience as a parent, sometimes it's best to pick your battles - you can't fight and win 'em all, so perhaps you decline to fight the fashion war. Just because your daughter is out tromping through the world with her butt crack exposed doesn't mean you are a bad parent, a negligent parent lacking in morals - or that you've failed to teach your daughter a thing or too. Teens naturally rebel against the morals and values of their parents, to one degree or another, but typically they return to some sort of based, some sort of center - that evolves from their parents' set of core values.

infinitesimal said...

Sorry Bogs,

WHAT was the underwear question?

ffff said...

I agree with bird on the premise that it is the parents fault for 'allowing the girls to leave the house dressed like that'. Obviously their are people ( men?) out there who have no idea about how to survive the growing up of your children.
I wish the trend would move on too. The ones that disturb me the most are little pre-pubescent girls with their lovely little bellies sticking out from their flat chests bared to the world. It is a feast for the paedophile... I do not enjoy young men with their jeans slung so low that they only way they must be held up is by their 'tackle' at the front.
If we change taste in music, shoes and hairstyles so quickly why has this particular dress sense stayed around for so long? Enough.. move on.

Hellpig said...

Bird said..It's the parents? Well, yes. But before you jump too harshly down their throats, let's keep in mind how much parents have to contend with these days

regardless of what parents have to contend with is irrelevant,if they are unable to instill morals and values and proper judgement,Then they are just POOR parents.

Of course the parents need to have morals,values and good judgement to start with if they do not then it's the Grandparents fault.

Pete Bogs said...

bird - I guess you can't quit pig... LOL ;-)

added a link to you on my homepage, btw... you have passed the probationary period...

fatty ~ said...

woah - comments on crazy shit... me starting new idea...

ok, i'm in highschool, i have a cover-all uniform. its bad, but i'll deal.

i personally think that chicks need to make themselves worth it. mid-drifts and really low riders can look really bad and sell you off short...

of 16yo girls;
since many office workers have to adhere to a level of smart casual wear, why not promote that in schools?

i do have lots of low-rider jeans, but i never do bum-crack low. or thong over jeans. ouch. and midriffs are so 90s yuck!

Ben said...

@bird:

In Germany they call those tattoos that you label "butterfly" an "Arschgeweih".

Rough translation: Ass antlers

Lady Lux said...

kids here dress the same way too...i am already at a loss for words tryiiiing to explain to them exactly what happens when they they walk down the street and men see them dressed that way....but all i get are sighs and glazed stares....

fatty ~ said...

us cheeky, smart-assed, wisecracking teenaged girls will be heard

me reads that as a compliment

ChasingMoksha said...

What I hate is I cannot find hardly anything but the one inch above the crotch in my daughter's 7-14 section. Almost seven years old and the only jeans available or low rise. WTF?

Also, I believe in all the sexual freedom in the world, but these girls that show all the goods are just stupid and lose all of their bargaining power. I am sorry, it is coarse, but there it is.

Pete Bogs said...

fatty - take it as a bun, er, pun...

all - thanks for your diverse opinions on this topic of great concern...

ardlair said...

As ever my views are recorded late.

But pants, like romance, are a thing of the past for me.

I prefer to go commando these days.

The Benster! said...

Will girls never learn?
If you dress like a whore, people will treat you like one.
It's as simple as that.

Pete Bogs said...

ard - commando is the way to go!

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