Who is asking these so-called frequently asked questions I keep seeing everywhere? It certainly isn’t me.
And why do those who offer them presume to know what I want to ask anyway?
FAQs have never ever answered any important questions I’ve had. They should really be called QWWYTAs (Questions We Want You To Ask) or QWTYWAT (Questions We Think You Want Answers To), because that’s what they really are.
Companies use FAQs to avoid dealing directly with their customers, and I should know: One of the duties I performed for my former employer was writing both the Qs and the As for FAQs.
To my credit, I insisted we ask our customer service operators what actual questions they were hearing from customers. Then I integrated them in with the phony ones. Hopefully they did someone some good.
A particularly odious use of FAQs typically occurs when you request assistance for an issue online. Often they’ll simply refer you to their FAQs page, rather than answer your specific question.
I knew you had those, smart-asses! I wanted a real answer.
It seems as though they just scan your request for keywords and send you back a link to a question/answer that is roughly on the same topic. Useless!
You guilty parties out there need to quit playing amateur psychic and provide proper service to your customers. Short of that, take your FAQs and stuff them up your FNAs, OK?