There are basically two sides to the premarital sex argument – those who say don’t do it, and those who do it. (That’s two sides, not two kinds of people; many people say one and do the other.)
If you’re like George Bush, you take advantage of a global health crisis to push your personal beliefs on abstinence before marriage.
While there’s no shortage of views on the subject, no one’s provided a reasoned argument as to why you should not wait. I seek to rectify that now.
Most people would agree that a healthy sex life is important to a marriage. Since the institution is, ostensibly, until death you do both part, isn’t it a good idea to make sure you and your partner are sexually compatible before signing a lifetime contract?
Car analogies may seem crass here, but would you commit to a lease on a $60,000 car without first – not necessarily in this order – lifting the hood, getting inside it, taking the top down, playing with all the knobs, and taking it for a ride? (Ooh… suddenly I feel so vulnerable.)
I’m not suggesting you cruise town recklessly until you have an STD. Do put on your seatbelt and watch your speed, but don’t let the possibility of a collision keep you off the road entirely.
Sexual compatibility can’t be fully verified by talking about it; you’ve got to live it. You may find out too late that your spouse thinks certain acts or positions are dirty. You may end up with a wife who’s an “angel in the kitchen” and in the bedroom, or a husband who thinks it’s weird for a woman to be on top.
In other words, stuck with a dud.
There are other quality factors to consider, too. If you only ever have one partner, you’ll be like those unfortunate cave dwellers in The Republic, whose awareness of reality is limited to what’s in front of them. You’ll never really know your stuff sexually, and hence get the maximum benefit out of the pursuit, without a diversified education.
The premarital abstinence standard often causes its practitioners to marry too young or too quickly out of sheer horniness. Securing a satisfying sexual relationship first will help lessen the chances of affairs and divorce.
I tell you, if I were still “waiting,” I’d be one miserable bastard, and I’d make everyone around me that way, too. But I know the best way to relieve stress and stay happy is to get that freak on!
Premarital cohabitation, premarital sex’s enabling best buddy, is also recommended. If you marry before living together, you may find your roommate’s habits intolerable. And again, you’re stuck with them.
Wait until you’re married to have sex? Not!
But do wait until at least your late teens, for God’s sake.