Monday, February 20, 2006

Respect The Cock

Respect the cock, the hen, the turkey and all other poultry. Also respect geese, swans, ducks and other migratory birds. To not do so could mean your life.

Initially found primarily in Asia,
avian (bird) flu is spreading across the world at an alarming rate. And even as birds and people are dying, health experts still can’t clearly explain how humans contract the illness:

Working at a farm?

Eating undercooked poultry?

Playing “Chicken” with your friends on a remote stretch of highway?

Sharing needles with a chicken?


Ducking your responsibilities?


Being a chickenhawk?

I’d like to know.

To fight off the disease, many countries are doing preemptive bird bonfires, with mountains of animals being destroyed at once. The situation is reminiscent of the hoof-and-mouth culls in Britain a while back. While I imagine the sight would be gruesome to most, the smell might actually entice some barbecue lovers.

One big problem in dealing with the bird flu is: birds travel. They go from country to country and never have to show their passports. They fly right under Homeland Security’s radar.

Until this situation is brought under control, maybe we need to put the birds themselves on an international “no-fly” list. In the US, I’m sure a certain gun-toting, quail-and-buddy-blasting vice president and his weekend warrior chums will be glad to help enforce it.

24 comments:

Paddys_Gal said...

I wonder if our birdbrained president is paying attention to this growing threat... scary.

infinitesimal said...

Well maybe this will teach people to not farm massive quantities of animals for food without regard to their physical or emotional health.

Chicken is gross anyway.

And do not eat Farm Raised Salmon either... because of the PCB's they will killyou

And Beef is out because of old hoof and mouth scare, but also rBGH

So do not eat meat.

Unless you are at Q's house for armadillo.

Nobody has fucked with that yet.....

Pete Bogs said...

massive quantities of animals in close quarters eating all sorts of nasty stuff, and being injected with all sorts of chemicals... I don't eat dead things - ever... I hunt soybeans and sometimes shoot my friends in the face...

Soy Americano!

Bird said...

No way anyone is gonna clip this bird's wings. Avian flu is just another scare tactic used by those in power to drum up unreasonable prejudice and incite you irrational humans to hate crimes (burning birds - for shame!) - it's a plot to control the masses! I want ALL presses that report on this blown-out-of-proportion pandemic-in-the-making to withdraw these articles, swear never to print such claptrap again, AND apolgize to all birds, everywhere!

BYW, I did have a tracking device installed in Dick (sure-shot)Cheney - I keep a close watch on his location - don't want to be mistaken for a friend of his.

And what's this, paddy's girl? Birdbrained president? His brain doesn't rise even remotely close to the level of mine - hence, your modifier is really a compliment (to him), though this bird is miffed.

In flight,
Bird

Hellpig said...

Just like the myth about GLOBAL WARMING both of them are BULLSHIT

Pete Bogs said...

you won't deny global warming when you start growing palm trees in Oregon, heckpig...

Pete Bogs said...

Washington, I mean...

Mr Q said...

I love birds, the kind that fly and are not being fed their own crap by the man. Free range all the way!!! or Rice and Beans or Die!!!.

K9 said...

also to avoide hen pecks bogshond.

Paddys_Gal said...

oops, my apologies, Bird.

presidentbobo said...

Hitchcock was right about the birds...he just misunderstood their inscrutable plans. I suspect they are behind Global Warming as well.

Bird said...

apologies accepted,paddys girl. have a nice juicy worm.(i am a bit saucy today, ain't i?)


hellpig: as a bird whose migratory flight path runs from the arctic to the antarctic - I can tell you - global warming ain't no myth!

and you people shouldn't be eating birds anyway - we are messengers from god, after all...oh well, i suppose in some religions, since it's appropriate to eat the god (at least symbolically) it probably seems ok to eat god's messengers. bird poop on all of you!

flying rapidly away...

Pete Bogs said...

Bird, the only birds I ever shoot are with my middle finger... and the only birds I ever eat are crow, like when I say something stupid (rarely)

of course, in the UK "bird" has a different connotation...

Pete Bogs said...

has no one seen Magnolia?

ffff said...

The main cause of avian flu that I can find out is al in the pooh. Their excrement is the thing wherein you'll find the virus arising ( apologise to Shakespeare)
I agree with Bird. It has yet to be transmitted directly from human to human ( they think it may in the future but are not quite sure) and the new cases are from filthy conditions where the birds are kept. I think this is another 'beat up' to keep us scared.
Global warming is another subject altogether..just ask the peoples of the Pacific islands who are losing so much of their land mass per year.
It is not the meat it is the crap the birds are kept in.

Jack K. said...

Hell, Pete, the birds could fly through the HS radar and HS wouldn't know what to do about it. They could give them a contract to manage international airports.

Just a thought.

Hellpig said...

Bird said."as a bird whose migratory flight path runs from the arctic to the antarctic - I can tell you - global warming ain't no myth!"
Warming Myth

Bird flu myths
It's just the Flu

Pete Bogs said...
"you won't deny global warming when you start growing palm trees in Washington, heckpig..."


Palms will grow where ever you plant them
Palm trees R us

Pete Bogs said...
"massive quantities of animals in close quarters eating all sorts of nasty stuff, and being injected with all sorts of chemicals"

Chemical free tasty MEATS

Pete Bogs said "I don't eat dead things - ever.."

So Plants are not living?interesting

Pete Bogs said...

Alison - droppings are the stuff diseases are made of... more Bill Shakespeare for you, there... did you know Elvis Costello wrote a song about you?

so what I'm hearing is this "epidemic" is either a farce or is man-made... hmm... I can see both of those viewpoints... a sure sign will be if the gov't starts telling us to buy plastic sheeting from Lowe's...

Jack, that's the fact, Jack...

hell yeah, hell, I said those things...

if palm trees will grow where you plant them, tell that to the late Stanley Kubrick... he shot Full Metal Jacket in England, but since it was set in Vietnam, he had to get some palms from Spain... they would not grow in the English soil and climate (not unlike the Northwest), and appear to be wilting in the film...

yes, there are hormone-free meats, but those are a specialty item... not your typical restaurant or market fare... most people are still eating animals on the juice (steroids)... you can tell they are on the juice by their tiny genitals and low sex drive... the animals, not the people...

plants are living... I eat them while they're still alive, just in case there's a chance they can feel pain!!! hahahaha! I don't eat animals...

Bird said...

hellpig's source for the global warming myth is less than credible.

http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=Oregon_Institute_of_Science_and_Medicine

Hellpig said...

Bird said...
"hellpig's source for the global warming myth is less than credible."


Here try this one it's from NOAA,surely even a LIB can find them credible
Warming is Natural

fatty ~ said...

how did this turn into an arguement about global warming?

whether we know how the H5N1 virus is spreading to humans or not - it is. The real worry is how soon before it mutates enough to spread through humans.

I have recently gone to Antarctica where the ice shelf and glaziers are retreating at an increasing rate every year.
I'm talking about a few metres every summer. For an environment that has little change for thousands of years - thats fast. And when did the concentration of greenhouse gases in the air start rising up at an increasing rate? around the time of the Industrial Revolution. yeah - totally natural.

Hellpig said...

aka fatty said...
"how did this turn into an arguement about global warming?"


I just like rattling the cage to see what falls out,I personally don't believe anyone has a clue either way,yeah the glaciers are melting but the core is growing(by core I mean the base underneath),And glaciers from what I was taught in the public school system is that glaciers have been melting and freezing for millions of years and records only date back about 100 yrs. so where's the real evidence?

Pete Bogs said...

interesting that this has turned into a discussion about global warming, as that's the topic of a soon-to-come BogsBlog post...

thanks everyone for making this interesting...

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