Friday, February 24, 2006

Lip Service

The creator of The Vagina Monologues made quite a name and fortune for herself with open talk about the vagina. Now it’s my turn to dive into the subject.

OK, while I may not be an “owner” like she is, I am a devoted “patron,” and I don’t want to hold my tongue on the subject any longer.

I generally disapprove of the non-reconstructive cosmetic procedures more and more women seem to be having nowadays. I say embrace your 32A bust. Tell the doctor to put the collagen away and leave your lips alone.

Well, not all of them.

OK, no more beating around the bush about the modern medical miracle known as
labiaplasty (labia reduction surgery).*

This is no joke. It’s a sensitive topic that has been touched on by the
mainstream media, on talk radio and in other blogs.

Many women resort to intimate reductions because they suffer chronic physical and/or social discomfort due to the disputed region. It’s not a purely cosmetic procedure.

Not all women who have labiaplasties do it strictly for their own benefit, however. Some have it done for their partner (i.e. the person who puts in the face-time downtown).

Obviously, labial excess is just not some cunnisseurs’ personal taste.

What constitutes excess?

If below the waist a woman in a bikini resembles a man wearing a Speedo, that may be an indication. When it comes to everyday apparel, if a woman finds she has to “dress left” or “dress right,” ditto.

It’s not just a visual issue, either. For the partner, having to wheedle through all that wrapping and tissue paper to get to the great gift inside can be a passion-killer. They want to be able to open it quickly, like when people open gifts on TV; they just lift the box top off.

Few women, even those blessed with an out-and-out cunnicopia, actually need a labiaplasty, and no woman should feel insecure regarding her private plenitude. She need only acquire a partner (where applicable) who finds that particular feature cunnilicious.

When all is said and done, people have the right to their preferences in physical attributes, both for themselves and their partners.

For example, some women may find a man’s venous, twitching member disgusting. As an owner, I disagree, but that’s no skin off my proboscis. Hey, I’m not here to force my views down anyone’s throat.

*Link goes to a text page, from which you can link to another page with before/after photos. Don’t go if you don’t want to know!

34 comments:

K9 said...

i left witout speech here! but goede week eind to you bogshond.

Pete Bogs said...

this is not so much an issue with dogs, I think... thanks, and have a good vridag yourself...

Bird said...

HEAD SNAP! WTF? Shudder,shudder,shudder.

Alright, I've got a grip now. While I agree women have a right to choices, I am concerned here with what helps construct the climate in which women make their choices.

I'll not address the issue of choosing these surgeries because of an actual need (labia so big it's annoying and impairs the joy of sex), but I will look at the rest - the cosmetic factor.

Models in porn flicks and mags are touched up. Their down-unders aren't really any prettier than anyone else's. Once again, the marketplace (so-to-speak) is telling women "you don't look right" and in an effort to drum up business and make bucks, delivers a message which judges women unfairly - based on an unreal or illusory atttribute or aesthetic.

I was puzzled by the hymen reconstruction. At first I thought, "Why on earth?" But I understand the rationale - to some degree, in terms of religious beliefs and values. However, it's still part of a repressive climate, or mind-set toward women.

One of the articles you referenced, Bogs, explains that Kegels don't alway work. I don't doubt it - nothing is foolproof. However, Kegels work MOST of the time, and are far less invasive than surgery (no duh). Kegels work -not just in terms of enhancing sexual pleasure (for both the male and the female), but for keeping muscles tight and the floor of the cervix firm (which is essential not just to reproductive and sexual health, but long-term health).

And here's a thought: if both partners want a prettier or neater presentation of the labia and the mound - well help about a little hair styling down there as part of the foreplay?

Dr. Bird, Sex Advisor

Jack K. said...

Bird :-)

I would suggest one minor amendment to your erudite and right on comment. I think the mind-set is against women.

Pete :-)

You do have a way of inventing words. Huzzah!

infinitesimal said...

OH GAWD BAWGS!

Din't anything happen in the news?
Labia reduction?
Come OOOONN!! gimmie a break. Feh FEH. Not before coffee, yipes!

d said...

OMG!!!

Cunnilicious? I love it!

Heard about this on one of those hour-long news programs - read somewhere too that some women are getting docs to reconstruct their hymen as a present for their husbands and whatnot.

Shoot, my husband won't even get snipped for me - he's certainly not getting a new hymen for Christmas ;)




(Came by way of RSG BTW)

Pete Bogs said...

bird - I actually don't take any kind of surgery lightly... I was just amazed (and amused to a certain extent) when I heard that such a thing existed... the hairstyle issue is something I've considered for a future blog... we'll see... thanks for your enlightening comments...

jack - thanks!

infini - yes, there's plenty of stuff in the news... but I don't simply want to rewrite the news every day... I want to mix it up once in a while, like with stupid pictures of me on a streetcorner or something... my blog is like the rain in Dublin - check back if you don't like it, because it changes a lot... I still have plenty to say on earthshattering issues...

and I kind of teed this off on my "circ" blog earlier this week... it was for sure going to involve genitals and surgical instruments...

I'm just hoping Aunt B doesn't stop by... she's been finger-wagging me a bit lately...

everyone - there's a good chance that something I write will offend at least one reader... that's not intentional, unless they're an asshole... I don't have any of those posting on my site so far...

love y'all!

Hellpig said...

C'mon Bogs I tried real hard to be the asshole

But even I am not touching these last few topics

Mr Q said...

Here's my $2 bill.
I believe in al naturale, but I am also a believer of selfishness.
I feel sad for those women that do anything for their man without regard of what is good for them first, but if what the prick is asking for doesn't violate your wants and needs then let it be. In a perfect world we are masters of our our own lives, "but since we are nowhere near perfect, that is why there is Walgreens" (Commercial quote).

presidentbobo said...

Labiaplasty? I can't even imagine that would be necessary. Ever. This is right up there with anal bleaching. What the hell? They provide so much fun why would you want to slice them? Breast reduction I can maybe understand...maybe, but this? This is gooing too far!

Pete Bogs said...

hellpig, you're not going to touch labia? do you find the topic tasteless?

Mr q, Mr Pres - this is not a "men forcing women to have it done" scenario, as I pointed out... I'm sure that happens, and I'd call that CRIMINAL... if you read the testimonials, the women who have had the procedure seem extremely relieved/grateful...

that said, I AM NOT ADVOCATING HAVING THIS DONE... I bring up topics and start a discussion, like the one we're having here...

bird - I previously asked you about the differences between romance and erotica and porn... the message you refer to in this post is of interest to me... I know I can get hair implants and look like I used to, but I have too much dignity... besides, bald is beautiful, lol... but I digress... I don't feel the world is giving me any "message" by making that procedure available, though... as for the romance/erotica/porn question, obviously many people feel that some of those degrade women... is that the climate to which you refer in your comments here?

The Recovering Straight Girl said...

Okay, those pictures just look like they stretched it all out and then tucked it back in.

I think if women feel like they need to undergo such surgery to feel better about themselves, go for it. What makes me sad is that they would need to undergo such surgery to feel better about themselves instead of being happy with how the lord made them, big labia or not.

I think guys should then have "saggy ball" surgery, cuz that my friends is just gross, gross, gross.

Pete Bogs said...

I think "saggy balls" is kind of redundant... but yes, we are made a certain way... we're too anxious to get surgery to change it... unless there's a PROBLEM I say leave it alone...

Pete Bogs said...

RSG - btw, thanks for accepting my invite...

Blue said...

Just to address your 'men don't make women have it done' comment.

Media laws disallow the showing of the labia in photography (ok prOn). Every single image of women in the magazines & movies & posters etc has been retouched - they have to be by law.

Women don't get a chance to look at other women - Men have that whole change room/glance at the urinal thing - but until Madonna openly advocated getting familiar with yourself over a mirror - the vast majority of women had never seen 'down there'.

And even when they do - they have no ACCURATE basis of comparison to what is normal. A lot of the surgery being performed is cosmetic for this reason.

And who is responsible for changing these laws..... male politicians & media owners. - There has been a lot of (non) mainstream media about this in Australia - with Dr's, sex therapists and womens groups speaking out against it.

Other than for the womans comfort and physical health (ie so big it hurts) this surgery is unnecessay & any man who 'requests' a woman get it done does not deserve her. After all, is he going to get that kink in his penis fixed?????

Pete Bogs said...

people have become obsessed with unnecessary surgeries... the testimonials on the doctor's site were from happy customers... that said, no one should be forced or coerced into doing something like this... as I wrote above, that'd be criminal as far as I'm concerned...

I'm not familiar with the laws you site, but they don't surprise me... actually I think a lot of women's sexual health books recommend becoming "familiar" with yourself...

there isn't really a "normal" for this; vaginal diversity is a fact... bird's references to models being "prettier" down there than other women is not entirely true... they are the only reason I know that such diversity exists... though pictures are most certainly touched up... women in Playboy appear to be made of plastic... nothing sexy about that...

Bird said...

Unwittingly, I've confused the issue a bit by using the example of porn models begin touched up. (I want to leave the issue of porn vs. erotica out of this).

My point here is that our culture really puts women in a bind - placing a lot of value on illusory and aesthetic elements that are unrealistic - look at tv and print commercials pitched to women - we are influenced and cajoled to attain a standard that is quite unrealistic. This sort of thing happens to all members in our society to some degree, but I think women are under a heavier burden with this sort of thing.

Now, with this new procedure, we're told that in additon to not being thin enough, not having the right kind of hair, eyes, lips, having too many wrinkles, not looking young enough even as we age, etc., we're also getting the message that our sweet pussies must look a certain way and that going under the knife is the answer - yet it's an impossible and unrealistic standard. One of the articles you referenced mentioned that women (and men) are beging influenced because they watch more porn now - but those models are touched up - it's not real. Hence the illusory and unrealtistic standard. That standard is also set in other areas (not just porn).

Ok, yeah, I'm generalzaing and over-exaggerating to a certain extent .... and one might ask, aren't women independent enough to ignore this sort of crap - as some guys do who are bald and ignore the bombardment of ads that reccommend hair replacement - except, we also get lots of images and messages about bald being sexy. And men are privileged in that they are allowed, via the culture, to attain success and stature in ways other than appearance (yes, yes I know, women can too, we've come a long way baby, but not as far as one might think, and not nearly far enough).

Ok, probably wandering around like a bull in a china shop (strange metaphor to use in this case)....


the porn vs erotica is a separate issue. some would say that porn expresses opressive and abusive sex, while erotica does not, and then we get into definitions of what is oppressive and abusive - and that is, my friend, an entirely different post, separate from this one and its attending comments. But as I mentioned over on my side of cyberspace, i'm working on a treatise (ok, much shorter) on that subject.

In the meantime, I have student papers to grade and bogs to read. (I'm trying to ignore the political and war news - it might make my head explode.)

Bird said...

and to blluebolt

my,how history repeats itself.

there was quite a movement in the 70s in women's health, encouraging women to get that mirror in hand and familarize themselves with their naturally pretty and alluring parts. self-examn was an intriguing concept. also at that time, quite a few women were practicing sympto-thermal birth control (and quite successfully - it is no just rythem (sp) and that method required a woman to observe her natural cycle closely and note the changes that occured in body - including basal temperature, as well as vaginal secretion (it changes density and color depending on where a woman is in her cycle) and requried a hands-on, woman-know-thyself approach.

The makers of OB tampons capitalized on this trend by marketing a tampon which did not have a cardboard or plastic applicator. Ironically, OB now makes its tampon with an applicator.

Well Bogs, did you quite expect all this from your post?

Haha!

Pete Bogs said...

the reason I brought porn/erotica over is that I wondered if you thought this procedure was part of the objectification of women, as those are often considered... I agree it's a separate blog, and I again extend the offer for you to start the issue off with a discussion of it... I have a lot of thoughts/questions on it...

as far as where the conversation has gone - the whole point of these blogs is to start a dialogue on an issue (not to offend my beloved female regulars!), which then takes off on its own direction... so that's fine with me...

ffff said...

Well, Bird you directed me back to Pete to catch up. I have been having a discussion on infublation lately ( ie where women in the Sudan, Masai women and women of fundamentalist North Africa Islam have their vulva's stitched back up...labia joined together.. so it will be 'tight' for their husband again after childbirth). It is true that in the 1970's women were encouraged to 'look down there' and to feel it as well. "To know thyself".I saw the piece on Aust TV also, Blue, about the plastic surgeon in California who performs operations on labia to 'reconstruct' them, to make them even. After the shock just comes the "Only in America" dismissiveness. It is the only way to handle this stuff sometimes.
BTW I wish Americans could figure the difference out between the vulva and the vagina. They are two different parts of a woman.
Leave well enough alone...

Frosty Snowbro said...

When are you getting your own talk show, Bogs? The Pintface Hour, down at your favorite pub. It's amazing how much conversation you can inspire.

Pete Bogs said...

I seem to have ignited some serious cunniversy here...

folks, the constant puns (cunni-words) and double-entendres should reinforce the fact that, like much of what I post, this is pretty tongue-in-cheek...

I'm proud to say I do know a bit about the female anatomy... the vagina is in fact the "birth canal," or the opening... the labia (inner/outer) are what basically seals the area off... etc., etc.

vagina is also sometimes referred to as the entire package, though... as in the Vagina Monologues... there's a whole spiel about hair, which is obviously not the titular organ, but close to it...

bro - now that pubs are going smoke-free, that seems more likely... thanks!

infinitesimal said...

UP with saggy ball surgery....Gross!!

Tongue in cheek, or tongue in lip Bogs?? HAHAHa

You are clearly biased against the large and lovely vulva (vulve? as plural?) Boggsy. Oh well, your loss.

Pete Bogs said...

hey, I can appreciate a flower with petals in full bloom as much as the next straight guy!

Blue said...

You have such a way with words :-)

ardlair said...

Did you know that labiaplasty is an anagram of "another pointless procedure invented by self obsessed middle class americans"?

Also intrigued to see, Dr Bogs,that you don't advocate the procedure, unlike circumcision. Well at least you advocate that for people who can't consent to it. That is, children.

Pete Bogs said...

I'm no doctor, I'm a writer... well, and a trouble-maker... I present these topics for discussion... don't get xenophobic on the messenger, lad...

Michelle Fry said...

I think the popularity of a procedure like labiaplasty is a symptom of the plastification (I can make up words too) of women. You might not think the plastic looking women in playboy look good but a whole lot of people sure seem to think they do. The women I see on the covers on FHM, Maxim, and playboy all look plastic and guys drool over them and buy the magazines like they are going out of style. So, clearly there a lot of people buying into the idea that platic=sexy. And, that's sad. Unfortunately too many women live on their looks or feel as though they should. Instead they need to cultivate other parts of their being. The women in the testimonials say they are happy with the procedure but I've got news for you. The women in the testimonials are getting paid to say they are happy. I'm not saying they aren't happy. I'm just saying you need to not take a testimonial for labiaplasty any more seriously than you would a testimonial for a juicer you see on an infomercial. Think about it.

Pete Bogs said...

Michelle,
I do think there's a phony homegeneity to the models on the covers of those magazines... too much hair, too much makeup, too much silicone... they're not my idea of sexy, for sure...

but then again, neither are padded bras... they're phony (i.e. dishonest) and unromantic, yet they too sell like hotcakes (like those men's magazines you mentioned)... women seem to love the shit out of them... a lot of men, too... I don't... I'd rather have you as you are (note the reference to 32A bust in there), whether you are modest or voluptuous... I know somewhere out there is going to try to pin the blame on that phenomenon on men, but that's disingenuous...

I think we're obsessed with unnecessary surgery in the US, and certainly that's given some on here a chance to America-bash... I do that every day, actually, but for more substantive reasons...

it's funny how subjective all this is... a woman will say labiaplasty is disgusting, then go around and flaunt her pierced nipples and/or clitoral hood because it's sexy... I used to read Penthouse (for the articles) and just one day cancelled my subscription - I got tired of seeing women with metal objects in their tender places... not the least bit attractive to me... I tolerated a pierced navel in a partner once - that's about as far as I will go...

then, there's the tattoos... ok, not the same as labiaplasty, but some women just love getting them done in private places... I am considering the small of the back of one of those places, by the way... the designs themselves may be beautiful, but only in rare cases do I find I woman whose undergone a mutilation of her body (even for art's sake) tp be attractive...

I'm curious to hear how men have forced wonderbras and body mutilations (as I've described above) on women... I did not post this blog to be combative, but it's sure been taken that way by many...

actually, all these comments have made for a great discussion, and I appreciate all of them...

ChasingMoksha said...

I wrote an entry on the same body part, yet I don't thing I took the direction that you have here. HAH!

http://chasingmoksha.blogspot.com/2006/02/language-friend-or-foe.html

ardlair said...

The only reason I am twitchy about this , Dr Pete, is that I once went out with a girl who had had a labia transplant.

She had got so hung up after her last boyfriend told her she didn't "have enough down there" and then showed her a few movies to prove the point that she had gone out and paid some quack to stitch a pair of baby Indian elephant ears onto her undercarriage. Her babebuddies apparently called her Dumbo.

I of course didn't know anything about all that when we met - although I did wonder about the ankle length skirt - but I was a bit surprised when she responded so warmly to my usual response to the "why do you like me, Ardlair?"" question.

I just gave her my usual line- "It's not what's between a girls legs, it's what's between her ears"

So you wouldn't be twitchy???



By the way I amn't xenophobic, or anti-american. Some of my best friends are............................

I am just a fisherman , a fisher of men.
A fly fisher.

I cast a fly, and see what rises to it.
Sometimes nothing. Sometimes something.

Blog on.

Pete Bogs said...

Ard - wow, you're talking about an augmentation... have never heard of that for that part of the body... sounds like her boyfriend was the real Dumbo...

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