You might think this is going to be about Mr. Rove, but it’s not. That diminutive demon spells his name with a "K," like Karl Marx.
No, I’m talking about NPR’s Morning Edition newscaster Carl Kasell.
Sure, he’s got an impressive resume, but he’s got a horrible radio voice. He's a living oxymoron.
Each morning, as Carl reads the news, he sounds as if he’s chewing on a candy bar. His lips smack like he’s really enjoying it, too. The sound effects are very graphic; you can almost picture the chocolate dripping down his chin, and his colleagues getting splashed like they’re in the front row at a Gallagher show.
Man, I'd hate to have to clean that microphone.
Why is it that newspersons always talk funny? Kassel is the Droopy Dog of radio, Brokaw has trouble with the letter “L,” Walters with "R," and Jennings was Canadian.
It’s a sign of their questionable judgment that NPR actually nudged out a guy like Bob Edwards, who hosted the morning show since it debuted in 1979, while letting Kasell stay. Edwards had a deep, smooth and clear voice. And he sounded like he could wait for a snack.
Now it’s not my desire to see anyone in the unemployment line. I just want a less-disturbing voice reading me the disturbing news of death, destruction and mayhem each morning.
Carl could certainly keep some off-mic duties, like writing and producing. OK, maybe he could even keep his job hosting Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! His voice might actually be an asset to the game show buffoonery.
By the way, if you’ve never heard that show, it entails listeners answering news trivia questions for the chance to win an answering machine greeting from Mr. K himself. If you prefer an articulate message on your home machine, you're probably better off having Charlie the local gibbering derelict record it.