Wednesday, February 08, 2006

God Hates Jerks: A Guide To Counterdemonstration

If you’re not familiar with the Reverend Fred Phelps, he’s the guy who back in 1998 stood outside Matthew Shepard’s funeral with a sign reading “God Hates Fags.”

Great Christian compassion there, Rev.

Since the US invaded Iraq, Phelps and his inbreeding followers have been
picketing at our soldiers’ funerals, on the grounds that they died fighting for a country that gives refuge to homosexuals and adulterers.

These fuckers must be stopped. Or at least, counteracted. We cannot tolerate this kind of intolerance.

Some states are considering laws against protesting at funerals, which understandably concerns First Amendment supporters. It may be tough to balance freedom of speech with a family’s right to grieve without harassment.

I’m torn on whether or not there should be such laws, and how restrictive they should be.

However…

I do not hesitate in the least to recommend the following guerilla-style counterdemonstration tactic:

Get two of those mega-waterguns – the kind that can hold like a gallon of ammo. Make sure they have a good range and/or good pumping action for a quick reload.

Fill the guns with grape juice, vinegar, urine or water.

Find out when and where the next funeral protest will be held.

On the appointed day, get two accomplices to drive with you to the protest location.

Pull up to the curb where the protest is taking place.

Open your car’s windows and unload the contents of the waterguns on protesters. (Ideally, you’ll be in a four-door, with one person driving, and the two triggermen each at one of the passenger-side windows.) Feel free to shout "Protest this!" or some clever expression during the curbside baptismal.

Drive away knowing you've done something good for your fellow man.


Keep in mind: You may well be arrested, and possibly charged with “assault” or some such BS for doing this. But it’s unlikely you’ll stay in jail long or have to pay much of a fine. And you’ll be a hero to many.

Also remember, the grape juice will cause stains, and you may have to pay for the targets’ clothes. Juice, vinegar and urine will burn eyes and other mucous membranes, so they may get you in more trouble. Water is the safest bet if you’re concerned about the law. On a really cold morning, it might be the worst thing you could hit them with anyway.

Let’s lock and load! Happy soaking!

32 comments:

infinitesimal said...

Good Morning!

I found a self proclaimed Muslim Moderate who has been appalled by some of K9's alpha tribe of weirdos.

(I am talking very indoctrinated pieces of scary work. He has one linked.)

Anyways.....
Moderate muslim man is this adorable 20 year old kid who I hope will visit us.

He is:

HeBitch@blogspot.

doncha jes love him already?

Oh, and I know who X's long ass anonymous poster is, and they are lovebirds in fact. It is an odd affair, Bogs, X is swimming in weirdness over there, you should go investigate the dog's links....

Pete Bogs said...

good afternoon...

I've been reading today about Muslim groups calling for an end to this violence...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060208/ap_on_re_mi_ea/prophet_drawings_127

it's good to have a moderate in our midst...

are you talking about Rev X? I haven't read a lot of his posts... maybe because they're so long... I skim the main points...

Bird said...

if we feel that the danish cartoons are legitmate free speech (when clearly Muslims are outraged by the insult), then why shouldn't this disgusting fellow be allowed to continue his protest?

If I picket funerals of soliders with signs that declare they died protecting an country or government which oppresses women children - am I any different than this preacher fellow?

not truly stating an opinion here, just asking...

boggsie - come vist.
infini - is ante belle back yet? i still want a mint julep.

Pete Bogs said...

I printed my blog in full realization that they have a right to express their wacked-out opinions... that's why I put in the stuff about the First Amendment and about being torn over the issue... certainly not a humane thing to target the grieving, however...

I'd seriously like to see this guerilla attack happen, though... it's not impinging on their free speech so much as it is letting them know they're assholes... and it also has a cathartic purpose for those of us outraged by their insensitivity...

Mr Q said...

I will not be surprised the day the the "reconstitution" gets rolled out. It may sound like heressy, but we are in desperate need of a brand new one, perhaps taht will be after the two party system dissolves into multiple fagtions.

Pete Bogs said...

if they ever do update the Constitution, I hope they clarify the Second Amendment... people have been misreading that one for ages...

Zya said...

Hello Son! How are you enjoying that pogo stick I got you for your birthday? ;p

Zya said...

ps. I like your blog!

Pete Bogs said...

the pogo stick is nice, but the up-and-down motion makes me spill my Guinness...

cheers!

Zya said...

Oh, well it was either a pogo stick or a trampoline.. so either way! :)

Next year I'll try for something simpler. A cashmere scarf perhaps to hide the Guiness stains on your shirt from all the pogo sticking of the last year..

infinitesimal said...

UMMMMM

NOOOO,
Go to the REVENGE link in the dogs yard. That is X's long ass anonymous poster. They have the same freakin writing style and self masterbatory issuances.

It has been banned by Google, you have to clic a release or whatever. It is pretty ugly.

Worst Weather Ever said...

found you in google blogsearch. fred phelps is unbelievable. ive seen him out here in KC a few times, and I've come to realize he is the true uniter of the left and right, both sides hate the guy.

ffff said...

We have a Rev here in Oz as well who always prays for rain every time Madi Gras is about it start in Sydney...We just reckon he is part of the publicity now..a joke for the tourists.
Have seen the sign about God hating F... that fellow was holding.... glad I'm an atheist as it is giving Christians a bad name

Pete Bogs said...

it's nice to see so many new visitors today!
Phelps is a sick mofo... I previously wrote a blog about the great irony of the messages of peace and tolerance coming from "angry left" and not from the religious right... they're very confused about their beliefs, that lot...
http://blogdebogs.blogspot.com/2005/08/onward-christian-slayer-should-whacked.html

rusty shakelford said...

"We cannot tolerate this kind of intolerance."

--priceless

Pete Bogs said...

I trust the sarcasm/irony was not lost on you, Rusty?

rusty shakelford said...

Using one person to represent billions doesn't make much sense. Pointing our a messed up individual is one thing but to say he is the norm amoung Christians makes no sense. God loves us all, even the jerks.

Pete Bogs said...

I didn't say he was the norm among Christians... he's the only person I know of who's doing such a thing... but most of the prominent Christians in this country are not good examples of the faithful...

Reverend X said...

are you talking about Rev X? I haven't read a lot of his posts... maybe because they're so long... I skim the main points...

Dude, I translate my main points into flash videos so you you don't have to read the whole damn thing. Click the animated gifs on the sidebar. Jeez, I really do try to please everyone!

I gotta mirror my analysis of D.T.'s reply to you over at "Revenge". I figured you'd be interested in my taking his side. And it'll prolly be gone by mornin from there.

Reverend X said...
D.T.,
In broad generalizations, you have point there. No wait, that doesn't work, does it? How about... In vague, unframed rhetoric you clarify the picture.
Let me try one more time to agree with you.

So liberals love terrorists? Liberals are too soft on terrorism? I'm willing to entertain the idea.

What is a Liberal? By definition they are in favor of proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.
And are not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.

What is a terrorist? By definition they are a person or group involved in terrorism.
I hate derivative definitions. fine.

What is Terrorism? The use or threatened use of violence to
1) coerce a Society or Nation into a behavior or action against its will.
2) promote or enforce a political agenda.

Here are a few current events which match the defined criteria
1) US policies attempting to halt Iran's Nuclear activities.
2) US policy of regime change in Iraq.
3) US Policy in Afghanistan.

Oddly enough, all three are directly attributable to the GOP and it's irrational adherence to conservative policy.

How did Liberals react to these three instances of Terrorism?
Approval of the latter two and only mild dissent for the former.
Indeed, you would appear to be correct. Liberals have been lacking in any real opposition to terrorism. I do not see evidence of the love you claim they exhibit, but nonetheless you have proven liberal complicity.
I join you in your upbraiding of Liberal inaction and call upon them to fulfill their patriotic duty to oppose terrorism and prosecute terrorists to the fullest extent of Law.
It is time for good ol' fashioned American values to supersede party affiliation. The right/left construct must be rebuked in favor of doing what's right and preventing what's wrong.
Thank you for showing me the light.

One more thing. The only organization I could find that equates the learned information represented by an SAT score with the intrinsic intellect shown by an IQ score is MENSA. For a $45 they will send you a $.05 card verifying your genius status to the world. I believe the card has the word genius and your name written on it also.

Pete Bogs said...

"Oddly enough, all three are directly attributable to the GOP and it's irrational adherence to conservative policy."

Feingold really gave them shit for their applause of Bush's lawbreaking... that was an inspired speech...

Jack K. said...

Maybe it's time to picket his compound. Yes he and his family live in a compound in the beautiful city of Topeka, Kansas.

The sign might read: God Hates Bigots!!

Just a thought>

Pete Bogs said...

I didn't know that part, Jack... beware of anyone who lives in a compound - cultists, the mob, or Michael Jackson...

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

vanille,

yep. I recognized the Rev as anon over at revenge too! (before he came in from the cold) now grrrrrrrrrrrrrrl, that is one funny thread. Not to be too serious about!! its art. Its a healthy non-violent way to disagree.

I agree with the Boyed. If you can hold up signs that hurt broken soldiers, I don't know what to say to that.

Ive made this point before: I dont care if you worship Count Chocula, its BEHAVIOR that gets my attention. and to vanilles moderate friend: if a pack of wild black dogs rip the hood up and there is a demonstration - it doesnt apply to me because I too am a black dog. I take no offense where it does not apply.

/grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

K9 said...

/bark bark bak


vanille - read that backwards! you think the anon to revx in my yard is the same guy as deveraux over at the study of revenge? The guy at revenge is an atheist -the anon -vs- rev is not an atheist!

different writing. The revenge guy is funnier and refers more to pop culture and he makes weird puns.....not the same people in my opinion.

infinitesimal said...

Oh, that is good, because I liked X's Anon.

Still, they seem similar.

It is hard to show me art that makes me sick to my stomach. TD Dipshit is an artist gone bad like a jar of mayo on a hot texas hotdogstand....in July....and like, the guy, y'know, the one that runs the stand?

Well he left town on his pregnant girlfriend, and did not tell her where he kept the stand. So TD is like way bad mayo is all I am saying.

He is talent gone up his own ass and around the corner. He hides his face for shame. Wasted youth.
*sigh*

Where's Auntie Belle?

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

vanille:

WWBD?
He would say don't give me generic! Revenge is funny. period. the conversation in the commentary is incredible -in every way. and its instructive too. in every sense of the word.

Uh Oh -here comes doctor Freud again!!!!!!!!!
revenge is hiding behind the mask? me too.
and many more. it's smart.


'Alpha tribe of weirdos?'
e tu vanille?

You scared of cathlicks? wait til I tell you about my haitian voodun rituals!

/grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Reverend X said...

K9,
I never post anonymously. That hurts, Pigf*****. The discourse at Revenge has lost it's sense of humor. It was taken over by the acolytes of negative emotional justification. Course, now it is way easier to mock them and set up the bait for the next joke. I'll stick in there until it degenerates into "Death to all Fanatics!!!" at which point my insults will become redundant.

infinitesimal said...

Whatever Ben would do, he better hurry up and do it quick. I am still sick to my stomach from those idiots at your new best friends house.

Oh my puppy, such a big dog now...

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

I agree. I visited revenge this eve and it isnt funny anymore. the thread on the cartoon was good but the thread on the google thing is bitter.
/grrrrrrr

Blue said...

We have one of those in Australia only he is Rev Fred Nile. I reckon joining his protest - only have a sign reading:

GOD HATES BIGOTS

And wait for the dumbass to notice.

PS like ur blog

Blue said...

Oops didn't realise Jack had said the same above....

Nothing new under the sun and wotnot. Have a guiness & try to forget :-)

Pete Bogs said...

thanks for stopping by, BB!