Friday, January 06, 2006

“Gee, I Wish We Had One Of Them Doomsday Machines!”

This country is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it, Mr. President. Your administration can serve no further purpose. Goodbye." – GOP 9000 ruling

One thing has become all too clear after recent revelations about our dear leader: No matter what you’ve done, you can hold onto power if you simply obstruct all attempts to bring you to justice, and if your party co-conspirators (aka Congressmen) have your back.

It must be liberating to have the majority party behind you, as Bush does. He’s taken it as carte blanche to perform all manner of illegal or immoral acts; his party provides impunity.

Regarding the issues of Downing Street Minutes (proof Bush lied to Congress about Iraq), NSA’s illegal wiretaps (a crime to which he boastfully admitted) and other impeachable offenses, Bush has simply had his spokesperson and hench-people refuse to say anything of substance.

He’s also attempted to block the formation of investigatory committees, refused to testify before them, refused to provide requested documents and in general refused to cooperate in any manner.

Pennsylvania Republicant Arlen Specter, Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, has promised to look into the NSA wiretaps, but only a handful of his party mates (i.e. not enough to successfully vote for censure or impeachment) are supporting him.

Bush buddy Pat Roberts (not to be confused with foreign leaders’ bane and death-wisher, Pat Robertson), is in charge of investigating the administration’s pre-Iraq intelligence failures. His report is long overdue, and he’s still in no hurry to produce it.

Many who howled for Bill Clinton’s blood over a lie about sex are now sadly mute about Bush’s lies about war and illegal surveillance.

Some are talking, but all that’s coming out of their mouths are hackneyed, though remarkably consistent talking points.

On Downing Street, the NSA and others, the response is invariable: “President Bush is doing what’s necessary to protect the country from terrorist killers. Those who question him are helping the terrorists and demoralizing our troops.”

If Bush can avoid consequences simply by refusing to cooperate or by having cohorts circle the wagons around him, he’s no longer a president – he’s a dictator. And based on his attitude toward torture, a brutal one at that. (I seem to remember Bush calling some other world leader a brutal dictator. Oh yes – Saddam Hussein!)

My suggestion for dealing with Executive malfeasance is to develop a process or device that takes choice out of human hands completely. Something that can’t be influenced by politics and has no particular interest in the matter.

I’m thinking along the lines of Dr. Strangelove’s Doomsday Machine, in statutory form. As you may recall, that machine which would automatically launch a nuclear counterattack and was impervious to any attempts to stop it.

We need to develop something that enables evidence to be collected and a binding verdict rendered against a rogue president whether anyone likes it or not. Since it would undoubtedly be computer-based, and considering the corrupt state of our current majority party, I suggest we call it “GOP 9000.”

Ok, ok, I’m mixing together my Kubrick references. I can’t help it that he had so damn many good ideas!

Now, I’m not saying I’ve figured out how GOP 9000 would work, mind you. I’m just an ideas man; a visionary. I’m a creative writer, not a technical writer. Plus I’d need more time to think about it.

What I do know is GOP 9000 would make the nuke-u-ler option look like a firecracker. But it’s the only way to ensure the integrity of our top branch of government, and the only remedy for our seemingly powerless citizenry against a crooked leader.

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