Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Foreigners Taking US Torturers’ Jobs

It’s no longer just customer service and manufacturing jobs that are being sent overseas.

In a brutal blow to thousands of honest, hardworking American torturers, the country they love so dearly is farming out their vocation.

Results of a European investigation today confirmed that the US is outsourcing torture to numerous countries.

That leaves US torturers, who because of their “specialized” qualifications are often severely limited in their choice of jobs within the US, to go on the dole.

Expect to see an increased number of people on street corners bearing signs that read “Will Hurt For Food” and “Heartless, Hungry, Plese (sic) Help.”

It’s painful, I know, but there’s no easy solution to the outsourcing dilemma.

The hemorrhaging of good torture jobs to other countries will continue as long as there is a demand for the craft, and some Afghani is willing to do it for $0.35 a day.

9 comments:

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

You could save at least one outsourced job by collecting heads yourself! and then, you could lay them all out in the sun, shrink 'em and open a horrors of dubya souvenier shop.

Pete Bogs said...

you got that right, k9... shit dog!

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

Oh good you found my steaming hot brown.

SwallowedAlive said...

That is fucking tip top.
TIP FUCKING TOP.

Update:
While Swallowed was busy laughing, a craftier Mexican found a way to write his blog on the cheap (yes, there is actually a cheaper than free)and is now in charge of his laughter. Ferrecito will now continue this comment in it's entirety.

Teep-Topa. Mucho Gusto!

Pete Bogs said...

no problema, Ferrecito... como estas?

Guvey P Newton said...

i applied for one of those posts and got told i would have to make bum love to some tunisians, i then said excuse me sir i dont think i like that, and then i got drunk

Pete Bogs said...

I pity the poor fool who would have to do that, guv...

infinitesimal said...

Help me obie wan kinobe you are my only hope.

how do i post links and photos? my old browser does not support and explorer does not even offer the photo option now.

How do you do it???

Puh-lease tell me.

Pete Bogs said...

for sidebar links, you want to click on the Change Setting link (right next to the New Post link), then go into the Template tab… that’s where the html code for your site is… scroll down that page almost to the end until you find the words “edit me…” you’ll also see the default “Google” link there… you’re going to replace these with your own links…

where you see the Google url, type in whatever address you like over it… then where you see >Google< after that, replace the word Google with whatever you want to call your link (e.g. Save The Children), but do not remove the > and < around it, or it will not display properly… after that, you can place addresses into the code directly below that in the same fashion, and replace >edit me< with whatever name you want to give each link…

if that’s kind of convoluted, here’s how I learned…

http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=110&topic=22

as for photos, you’ve already posted some… what do you need to know?