Tuesday, November 22, 2005

WMDs Finally Found In Iraq

Afghanistan is known for its poppies, which are used to make opium and heroin. Iraq is now making news over the white stuff, but it’s hardly candy to anyone’s nose.

Recent investigations have brought to light evidence that the chemical agent white phosphorus (WP), a weapon of mass destruction, has been used by US forces in Iraq.

So that’s where those WMDs were! They were in our own arsenals the whole time. Boy, don’t we feel silly!

When fired into the air, a WP shell bursts like a firework and rains burning chemicals and thick smoke down on everyone below – whether they’re an enemy or ally. It’s difficult to extinguish WP, which usually ceases to burn only when the chemical is spent.

It’s not your father’s napalm.

Strangely, while the chemical burns through the victim’s skin and muscles, it typically leaves their clothes intact. How incredibly considerate of the military brass to take Muslim modesty into account when choosing a weapon to use against insurgents!

The Pentagon at first denied WP has been used in Iraq. Then they said it was used, but only to illuminate the battlefield. (This is the “I Read Playboy For The Articles” Defense.)

In the face of indisputable evidence – including interviews with participants and graphic film footage – the Pentagon finally admitted to using WP against insurgents in limited situations.

But, according to Pentagon, using WP is not illegal. Well, not for US anyway. The international body Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons banned its use in civilian areas, but we refused to agree to that provision.

Between our use of WMDs, our implementation of torture and secret detentions, the US is now leading the competition for the “Indefensible Behavior Most Resembling Saddam’s” Award.

Shame on us.



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