Thursday, August 04, 2005

I’ve Got Some Beaching To Do

I get the distinct feeling many of the beer and soda commercials I see on TV are deceptive. I’m not talking about how these products are portrayed as contributing to a healthy, fulfilling lifestyle. I’m talking about the fact that these ads quite often depict people having all sorts of fun on beaches, fun that I never get to have even though I live in a state ringed by them.

At least in Florida, most public beaches:

· Don’t allow alcoholic beverages – (I’m not saying it’s not easy to get away with drinking them on the beach, but the people in these spots are drinking openly)

· Don’t allow dogs

· Don’t allow you to drive your jeep, car, etc. right up to the water

· Don’t allow you to hang around after dark

· Don’t allow you to build a bonfire, even though sand doesn't burn

So, my question is: Where are these beaches? Cause, I want to visit them. And I want to party with the privileged people I see in those spots.

One night soon I want to do donuts* on the beach in my car, with a golden retriever bouncing around in the back seat, then hop out, pop open a cold one, wait for it to settle (as all proper beers should do), and down it by firelight with my posse while the retriever takes a dump in the dunes.

Now that’s living!

*Vernacular for driving your car around in circles to create a donut-shaped pattern in the dirt, just for the thrill of it.

1 comment:

just sayin' said...

the beaches are in California and the Pacific Ocean is very cold which is why you see the surfers in wetsuits and the people hanging around those bonfires at night in jackets and sweaters.