I get the distinct feeling many of the beer and soda commercials I see on TV are deceptive. I’m not talking about how these products are portrayed as contributing to a healthy, fulfilling lifestyle. I’m talking about the fact that these ads quite often depict people having all sorts of fun on beaches, fun that I never get to have even though I live in a state ringed by them.
At least in Florida, most public beaches:
· Don’t allow alcoholic beverages – (I’m not saying it’s not easy to get away with drinking them on the beach, but the people in these spots are drinking openly)
· Don’t allow dogs
· Don’t allow you to drive your jeep, car, etc. right up to the water
· Don’t allow you to hang around after dark
· Don’t allow you to build a bonfire, even though sand doesn't burn
So, my question is: Where are these beaches? Cause, I want to visit them. And I want to party with the privileged people I see in those spots.
One night soon I want to do donuts* on the beach in my car, with a golden retriever bouncing around in the back seat, then hop out, pop open a cold one, wait for it to settle (as all proper beers should do), and down it by firelight with my posse while the retriever takes a dump in the dunes.
Now that’s living!
*Vernacular for driving your car around in circles to create a donut-shaped pattern in the dirt, just for the thrill of it.