Thursday, August 18, 2005

How Much Extra For The Air Force One Maintenance Plan, And Is A Saturday Stay Required?

Recent air disasters on three continents have reminded me that for years I’ve had a solution for ending commercial plane crashes once and for all. We need but implement it.

Air Force One will always fly safely, despite what you may have seen in Escape From New York or that other movie – the one with Harrison Ford. So, here’s my two-prong plan…

First, starting today, all airline maintenance crews need to be given the Air Force One Maintenance Handbook. Whatever the president’s ground crew is doing, they’re doing it right. Now it’s time for the rest of us to benefit from it.

Second, existing air traffic controllers are going to have to be “reeducated” to believe every plane they’re tracking is Air Force One, and treat it with the care typically afforded that aircraft. Future controllers would need to be trained – indeed, even bred – to do the same.

Think all this would be too expensive to be feasible? If all the pork in the recent $286.4 billion transportation bill were replaced with my idea, we might just cover the cost, with enough left over for dinner off the 99¢ value menu.

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