Iran’s Ahmadinejad Declares Avatar “the Shit,” Predicts Big Wins on Oscar Night, Hangs Dissidents Who Claim Precious Is the Superior Film

By Pete Bogs/Bogsblog

James Cameron’s blockbuster film Avatar apparently has a raving fan in Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. The Persian prez has expressed particular admiration for the battle machine suit (Amplified Mobility Platform [AMP]), which he called “mind-fucking-blowing,” adding that the technology was “his idea first.”

"You know (Avatar is) totally going to kick District 9's ass at the Oscars," he was also purported to have said. "And The Blind Side? Made-for-TV melodrama with a bleach-blonde Sandra Bullock? Don't make me laugh! Seriously, don't make me laugh, or you will be jailed."

Ahmadinejad has reportedly agreed to halt Iran’s nuclear enrichment program, provided he be allowed to accompany Cameron to the Oscars in March. As of this writing, there has been no response from either the United Nations or Cameron.

Iranian cabinet ministers were surprised by their president’s praise of Avatar, as during a recent Tehran screening Ahmadinejad allegedly paid little attention to the film, instead annoying other patrons by talking loudly on his cell phone.

Above: Ahmadinejad queues up for yet another screening of Avatar in 3-D.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Don’t Work

By Pete Bogs/BogsBlog

“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT), the Pentagon’s policy of allowing gays to serve in the U.S. military provided they stay in the closet, is facing repeal after 17 years. I must credit President Obama for following through on a campaign promise (while I remain a vocal critic of his faltering health care reform efforts and his insistence on letting George W. Bush’s criminal cronies walk free).

I have to admit, I supported President Bill Clinton on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell back in 1993; I viewed it as the “lesser of two evils” (allowing closeted gays to serve versus putting an outright ban on their service) and about the best we could hope for at the time. Lingering opposition tells me it probably was.

From the rigid resistance to open service exhibited by some, one might easily get the impression the U.S. military is an inherently homophobic institution. I’d prefer to believe those who express concern in vague statements about “unit cohesion” (hehehe, you said “unit”) don’t speak for our military as a whole. And it’s looking like that’s the case.

We’ve heard alarmist anecdotes about servicepersons being “sized up” in the shower by gay comrades. To me, this simply makes the case for privacy while bathing. One room with a dozen or so nozzles (oh, grow up!) on the tiled walls isn’t preferable to most as might be, say, individual shower stalls. Naked (wo)men showering together, lathering up in front of each other – as might occur every day in military barracks across America – that, ironically, seems a bit gay.

By keeping DADT in place, we not only deny respect to many decent, patriotic people, we limit our defense resources. In time of war with two Middle Eastern countries, we’ve actually booted personnel, including translators who help us understand what the hell terrorists are saying, for being openly gay. Is this a sound defense policy?

To those who continue to support DADT, I put this question: Do you hate/fear gays more than you love your country?

Osama bin Laden Pollutes Airwaves With Criticism of Air Pollution

By Pete Bogs/BogsBlog

Osama bin Laden has found a new reason to hate America: global warming. In his most recent rambling audio tape, the top terrorist and favorite son of Saudi Arabia takes us to task for climate change.

Coming from him – indeed, anything spewing from that gaping maw of ignorance and hate is suspect – ecological complaints just don’t hold polluted water. America does need to get serious about curbing our carbon emissions, but China’s efforts at destroying the earth make us look like Henry David Thoreau by contrast. Osama neglected to mention them.

To punish America for its shameful stewardship, bin Laden is calling for international divestment from the U.S. dollar. It’s like 1980s South Africa all over again. Who would’ve figured Osama for such an ardent activist? At least al-Qaida is easier to spell than apartheid.

If serious, bin Laden has miscalculated: By aligning himself with an environmental cause, he’s just handed nature-hating, big business-beholden forces in the U.S. a powerful weapon in their anti-environment efforts. “If Osama thinks it’s a good idea, it must be bad one.” And, by extension, “Environmentalists are terrorists.” To the unsophisticated mind, those are convincing arguments. I’ll be surprised if the Rush Limbaughs and Glenn Becks of the world aren’t already all over this.

Some have suggested bin Laden is simply jumping on the bandwagon of a popular topic. If so, why not just tweet on his favorite Jersey Shore episode or bitch about the disappointing Google Nexus One like everyone else?

Perhaps he should just stick with what he knows best – shitting in Pakistani caves and picking sand fleas out of his beard.

The Supreme Court Is as Morally Bankrupt as Air America Is Financially Bankrupt: A BogsBlog Special Edition From Pete Bogs

Freedom of speech was never intended to be reserved for those with loads of money and influence. (At least that’s what the idealistic, hypocritical, slave-owning forefathers probably thought.) It is supposed to be “free” – as in unfettered, and also as in not linked to money. Yet deep-pocketed lobbyists continue to speak more loudly and freely than the rest of us, and as a result we get health care reform bills written by and for insurance companies instead of the people.

With the Supreme Court’s decision yesterday to scale back the bipartisan McCain-Feingold law, union- and corporate-sponsored political ads, not known for disseminating the truth, will likely influence even more of the ignorant, unwashed, uncritical masses than they already do, and we’ll continue to hear that President Obama is a closet Islamo-fascist who was born on Mars and has webbed toes. For the record, I don’t consider intentionally misleading the public for financial gain a “right” by any stretch of the imagination. But the big-business loving consternatives on the Supreme Court apparently do.

The end of the Fairness Doctrine was hailed as a victory for the First Amendment, but it’s only been a victory for the few. Air America has gone bankrupt, and while I’m sure many are jumping for joy, it vividly illustrates the problem that the doctrine was intended to address. Left-leaning speech has been excluded (some could say censored) from AM radio in favor of wall-to-wall consternative commentators, forcing lefties to build their own network from the ground up. That's not a cheap or easy thing to do. As a result, voices that aren't backed by the big bucks are silenced. That's not freedom or democracy in any form; that's scary.

BogsBlog is made possible by a cost-free website that allows me to say just about anything I want. It's disheartening that the USA overall is going in the opposite direction.

I Know How to Guarantee Passage of a Worthwhile Health Care Reform Bill: A BogsBlog Special Edition

Pete Bogs here, with a new post about the ongoing health care reform debate in the United States.

In case you don’t remember, this all began with the suggestion of making health care available and affordable for all Americans. Unassailable, on the face of it. But the response by many of our citizens could cause an unobservant observer to believe that President Obama had announced his intention to give every man, woman and child a Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 on the taxpayers’ dime. In other words, something extravagant and unnecessary, rather than, say, a matter of life and death.

Even some of Jesus’ most ardent followers, who bemoan the disappearance of prayer from public institutions, are making a racket at the suggestion of extending healthcare to all. Apparently healing the sick and helping the poor were not among JC’s lessons in their version of the Good Book. Apparently these folks are also very choosy about which Christian values should be incorporated into government policy: Prayer, yes; aiding those in need, no.

I know how to get real health care reform to pass in Congress. And by that I don’t mean this watered-down disappointment that some are still insisting gives away too much to the deadbeats, single moms and minorities. I am talking about a full-on health care overhaul that includes a socialist-public-option-universal-coverage-single-payer-system that also enables people to get cheap drugs from Canada and allows Medicare to be extended. How do we do it?

Insert it as an earmark into the next defense appropriations bill, which few Democrats or Republicants would dare fail to support, lest they be labeled as "weak on defense," anti-American or pro-terrorist.

Generally, I oppose the practice of stuffing provisions – especially non-germane ones – into bills. You know, like when an education funding bill inexplicably also contains funds for new highways. Sometimes these are “poison pills” inserted by lawmakers who wish to kill the whole bill using unpopular amendments. Often they are snuck in in the hope that no one will notice (a tactic which could be useful here). But health care is germane to national defense. As I asked non-rhetorically in an earlier BogsBlog post:

Isn’t keeping Americans alive and healthy the common goal of both our defense system and our health care system? How can you say you want to prevent an anthrax attack from terrorists upon your neighbor, yet not be concerned about preventing or treating a naturally occurring cancer or infection in that same neighbor? How can you want to stop bullets and bombs from raining down upon someone, but be completely indifferent were they to be injured in another context?

Health care is part and parcel of keeping Americans safe and in one piece. So some principled politician – I think Russ Feingold is one of the last ones left – should jam it into a defense bill. And Russ, do me a favor: Jam it in there hard, and without using lubricant.

We need to end the health care reform debate and force the dirty hands of corrupt, greedy, misguided, pitiless (yet pitiful) politicians who use fear, distortions and outright lies to keep America sick. It’s perhaps fortunate that those lawmakers enjoy free, top-of-line, government-run, socialistic health care, because they are perhaps the sickest people of all. Cough Joe Lieberman cough.

Well, that’s about it from Pete Bogs for 2009. Maybe we’ll see each other in the blogosphere next year. I wish you all happy holidays; especially you, Bill O’Reilly, and the war-on-Christmas crowd.

PS: See recent BogsBlog posts for more on sick people and health care.

BogsBlog Special Edition: What Is It With These Fvcking People?

Hi there, folks. Pete Bogs here, with a special, three-pronged edition of BogsBlog. We’ll discuss two of my favorite kinds of people: Preverts (sic) and idiots. These people ensure blogging fodder for many years to come, I am certain. Anyway, if you've got a few minutes to read 1000 words or so...

Debbie Does The Courthouse; Gets Lafavourable Ruling
BogsBlog’s own favorite fugitive-from-justice-hiding-in-plain-sight (and local gal) Debra Lafave is back in the news. Lafave, a former teacher who had a “consensual” sexual relationship with one of her male teenaged students – an acquaintance of one of my nephews – has been granted the right to unsupervised visits with children after completing some counseling and probation. This is a woman who, back in the salad days, drew Pete Bogs’ ire for exemplifying the disparity in our society's treatment of male and female sex offenders. Lafave got two years of house arrest, which I liken to sitting home watching cable TV for 700+ days under judge’s order. Compare this to the man who, in the same county’s court system, just got 20 years in prison plus 10 years probation for having sex with a 12-year-old girl.

In the former case, you have a teacher – expected to be a paragon of trust in society, like doctors and clergy – a female teacher, having sex with a 14-year-old boy. In the latter, you have a man who found a 12-year-old girl on the Internet and arranged a sexual liaison. Not a huge age difference between the victims. Some have suggested the difference here is intent. The man clearly went online looking for young sex partners, while the woman merely had a lapse of judgment. But how do we know that? How do we know what was in Lafave’s mind before and during her illicit sex acts? Can we ever know what a person’s intent is, considering it’s locked in his/her brain and we only really ever know what they tell us? Lafave has admitted that the forbidden nature of the acts intrigued her, i.e., she’s a kinky bitch. The true difference here is gender, both that of the perpetrator and the victim. People fantasize aloud about personally castrating a male perpetrator, but can’t be bothered to muster outrage at a female one.

I want to make it clear that I am not defending sex offenders of any gender. Nor do I think Lafave is a genuine threat to children. I believe that in order for us to call our justice system “just,” we need to see more equality in sentencing. It’s the same argument I’d make if a black man got a stiff sentence after a crime for which a white man got a slap on the wrist. That’s not justice. That’s just wrong.

It’s sad to say, but pedophilia is one area in which women benefit from inequality. You may want equality, but how badly do you want it? One day you may not be guaranteed first dibs at a lifeboat seat or the freedom to fuck as many horny teens as you like. Think about it, ladies.

Is That A Jack-O-Lantern You’re Wearing, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Apparently, Boulder, Colorado has an interesting Halloween tradition: Folks gather for a chilly late night run through the streets wearing pumpkins on their heads – and nothing else. Talk about shrinkage! But this year the local authorities have promised to crack down on the unfettered flop-fest. Runners have been threatened with being charged as sex offenders for participating. When did streakers become sex offenders instead of simple pranksters? It’s a victimless crime. Leave the runners alone. You fucking Nazis.

Immediate Attention Required
Earlier this year I had jury duty for a week. Twice during proceedings the court reporter’s cell phone went off, interrupting the multimillion dollar case. This was not some 19-year-old cell phone-worshipping ditz, but someone’s grandmother, who by her career choice knows court decorum better than just about anyone. Recently a commercial airliner overflew its destination by 150 miles. The pilots on Northwest Airlines Flight 188 did not respond to repeated control tower attempts to contact them, fears of a hijacking were raised and fighter jets were put on alert. Turns out the pilots were using their laptops – a prohibited activity on the flight deck – and were not paying attention to their trajectory. At least no one was hurt. In September 2008 a commuter train collided with a freight train, killing 25 people and injuring more than 130. The commuter train’s engineer was texting at the time of the collision and failed to notice the stop signal.

People, what is it going to take to get us to be responsible with our electronic toys? Set them aside. Turn them off. Pay attention to other human beings. Lives could depend upon it, and not just because you’re operating a moving vehicle, but because some people around you are about ready to put a permanent end to your rudeness and stupidity! (I can dream, can’t I?) I've been on planes a few times this year, and while the flight attendants have repeatedly reminded passengers to turn off all electronic devices, I still heard heavy metal music blaring from the headphones of the guy sitting behind me, and saw the glow of the Kindle reader from the guy across the aisle. If these can cause any problem at all with the operation of the plane, you’d damn-well better turn them off!

Portable communications technology has developed fastly (sic) and furiously, with exciting new capabilities – you can now “flick” a file from your iPhone screen to someone else’s nearby – being introduced regularly. But the social implications of this technology have barely been addressed. I am once again reminded of a line from the film Jurassic Park, in which character Ian Malcolm chides the man who brought dinosaurs to life in the 20th century using DNA: “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.” Just because you are now able to use some technology anywhere while doing just about anything – Paris Hilton answered a cell phone while her boyfriend was screwing her, for God’s sake – that doesn’t mean you should. New technology seems to not only have made old technology obsolete, but also common sense and courtesy as well.

I say an agnostic prayer for our future. Peace.

Take Your Dirty Hands Off My Swine Flu Shot, Granny: A BogsBlog Special Edition

Pete Bogs here, with a BogsBlog Special Edition on the swine flu (which sounds like some kind of biological warfare agent created by the CIA to use on radical Islamists), aka “H1N1” (which sounds like a London postal code, but I digress a second time).

I haven't had any kind of inoculation since 1986, when I got a measles shot that was required for college. Long story short, I got a live batch that gave me the measles, but was not accepted into the university. The incident gave me a deep distrust of vaccines (and questionable college admission criteria) for decades thereafter. I'm not sure what was more irritating, the rash or the snub. (This is similar to a situation in which several AIDS cases linked to a Florida dentist made me avoid dental visits like, well, like the plague for about a decade. Ok, I am somewhat of a hypochondriac.)

But with a supply of swine flu shots supposedly on the way, I'm seriously thinking about going "under the needle" for the first time since Reagan and Gorby met at Reykjavik (I think it was actually the same week). I do ok with needles; it's what's in them that has concerned me ever since that unfortunate 1986 occurrence. As I am neither a health care worker, nor elderly, nor very young, nor saddled with a weak immune system, however, I will probably be put to the end of the line for a shot. Bastards! I am a paying passenger and I demand a seat in this lifeboat!

I am actually anticipating a run on the vaccine, resulting in long lines, rationing and lots of angry people. And that's without our country switching from its flawless, enviable free market health care system to an evil public option socialist model. With people dying from this illness, the clamor for inoculation may make the raucous town hall meetings that have thus far comprised the U.S. health care debate seem like tea socials. I certainly plan to crack a few skulls. Or at least pull a Peter Griffin:



So get ready for it, folks. You, too, may soon find yourself shamelessly shoving a feeble granny aside to get to your own dose. If you must jostle the elderly, though, please be sure to at least wash your hands before (and after) doing so. This article reminds us that washing our hands regularly is essential to stemming the flow of contagious diseases.

But we shouldn’t need a reminder to wash our hands. Most of our mothers told us this when we were young. Most of us remember this every time we see someone leave a toilet stall and head for the door without stopping at the sink. And I, Pete Bogs, reminded you in this post, wherein I stated that hand washing should be considered not simply a suggestion, but a patriotic duty, with harsh penalties for those who don’t comply. So you can't say you don't know. Take it from a marketing professional: “There’s never been a better time” to adopt this good habit, folks.

Be healthy.